Glastonbury: I’m going here. It’s effing huge

So I’m going to Glastonbury. Not as a punter. As a dj. I am djing at Glastonbury.

SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have never ever been before in my life ever so am somewhat excited. Am there the full stretch, playing Thursday – Sunday in a variety of get ups and a suitcase full of records to suit all weathers, people and tastes. Although I’d quite like everyone to be like me, like what I do, for the sun to shine solidly and absolutely NO MUD. I don’t favour the mud. Or any dirt. Or dust. Or just general uncleanliness.

Suffice to say, am not staying on site. I like electricity and bricks and showers indoors too much. Also, I don’t own a tent and have no desire to change this. My sister loves the camping, but then she has a camper van, which elevates the outdoor sleeping factor a little although it’s just one up from sleeping in your car tbh. Like naughty husbands or a drunk perhaps.

Maybe I need to get more in touch with nature and not worry about my hair and lack of plugs sockets for straighteners or sleeping on the hard ground. Or maybe everyone else can do that bit and I’ll continue to do my bit as a whirly-gig dj at freaking GLASTONBURY!! SCREAM! AGAIN!!!!

I’m playing on William’s Green in the massive Green Bar tent, so if you’re in the area anytime betwixt 3pm – 12am I’ll be there disco dancing in spangly wellies, playing marvellous music for larking in super Somerset.

SCREAM FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME!!!

See you in the fields!