This post is named after the Guns n Roses song with the most bombastic video. Stephanie Seymour in a “sexy” wedding dress, Slash playing a guitar (sans amp) outside a church with a fag on, Axl doing some of his best acting in a flouncy shirt, an unnecessarily RUINED five tier wedding cake by a dramatic guest and a soggy dinner. Oh and rain. So much drama in such a short time. And didn’t people smoke LOADS in the olden days?

Apropos of nothing, here are my dates this month probs featuring a lot of rain thanks to the climate of this septic isle, but alas no wedding cakes for one to dive into.

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 5TH:

BALMAIN X H&M LAUNCH, H&M OXFORD CIRCUS,  9-1PM

Did the press launch a few weeks back, now it’s time for the WORLD to get their hands on the highly desired collaboration. Am doing the opening set of the day when the fashion fans have been queueing all night on a damp pavement and are knackered and then rewarded with their dream threads. It’s quite something.

PRIVATE PARTY, BLOOMSBURY BALLROOM

Then the above later. After a disco nap and so on

FRIDAY 6TH & SATURDAY 7TH NOVEMBER – LONDON NEVER DIES, BLOOMSBURY BALLROOM

Maybe I should sleep there this weekend. Am playing three nights, the latter two being the final hurrah of the London Never Dies cabaret nights which have been great fun. I like the old school styling of the night with dining and acts in between. Kind of like the clubs they go to in Goodfellas and so on. But with no murders or illegal dealings. Anyway, you can book in here for the last shows.

EVERY SUNDAY – W DOES BRUNCH, W HOTEL, 12-4PM

Deluxe dining delight int he heart of the capital. Every Sunday it’s W Does Brunch, bringing you an amazing menu of food and drinks, me djing, slippers and sofas to stretch out in and a TV room to enjoy your Sunday food coma in. It’s pretty good I cannot deny. Book in here 

THURSDAY 12TH NOVEMBER – RAVE KARAOKE, LUCKY VOICE BRIGHTON, 8-11pm

Getting them on a ragga tip by the seaside. Whistles! Glow Sticks! Technotronic! Baby D! 2 Unlimited! YOU?! Come and have a Thursday night lol below the streets in the Lucky Voice bar for a mid-week mini rave. It’s all the fun. Plus you get a free hour in the private karaoke rooms after for you and your crew! BANGING. Tickets here 

SATURDAY 14TH NOVEMBER – KANDYPOP, BOUNCE 9PM – 1AM

Ping pong disco! Goes UV after 11pm. Day-glo BALLS. Come and have a dance with me.

INTERLUDE: here’s Slash with a fag on in front of a church

AND RESUME:

TUESDAY 17TH NOVEMBER – PRIVATE PARTY

Not for nosies

WEDNESDAY 18TH NOVEMBER – CARRY ON KARAOKE, LUCKY VOICE ISLINGTON, 8-11PM

Back again for the themed Karaoke parties at the splendid Islington Lucky Voice. This month it’s all about the twos as we celebrate duos and duets! As Tammi and Marvin said (ok SANG) It Takes Two! Perhaps you fancy a Nelly and Kelly duet, or maybe you’re more Michael and Janet Jackson? Or even Dolly and Kenny! Spanning all music genres, decades and haircuts and a bonus free hour in the private karaoke rooms post-party. Whoop! BOOK HERE 

FRIDAY 20TH NOVEMBER – CHELSEA HARBOUR, H&M PRIVATE PARTY

First Christmas party of the year for my number one favourite high street store!

SATURDAY 21ST NOVEMBER – THE GHERKIN, PRIVATE BIRTHDAY PARTY

Playing right at the very top of the glass-clad amazing building, thrusting into the London skyline. I went and had a look at the room a few months ago and was bedazzled by the 360 degree views. My vertigo was in overdrive. I may need to be bolted down to stop the urge to LUNGE.

TUESDAY 24TH NOVEMBER – PRIVATE PARTY, CAFE DES PARIS

Snazzy

FRIDAY 27TH NOVEMBER – PRIVATE PARTY

Your name’s not down you’re not coming in

SATURDAY 28TH NOVEMBER – ROYAL MARSDEN PARTY, SUPERNOVA

The amazing hospital does an AMAZING party. Third year for me!

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That’s it for now. Lots coming up in December though. Then I’ll be ready for my Christmas dinner. And a bloody good sit down.

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