I played at a pop up launch for Guilty Noodle at Old Street Station last night. It was fun and it was 24 degrees outside, thus naturally a heck of a lot hotter underground and combined with fake tan blocking ones pores and a heavily sequinned kimono jumpsuit, it was like working out in one of those sweat suits that people do for extreme rapid weight loss. A more glamorous looking one in theory, but in reality, just as much of a sorry soggy mess.
So, lesson is don’t wear a heavy sequinned article when whirling around playing records underground. Unless you like the sweaty look. I don’t mind it when I am dans le gym, I am just sorry everyone else had to experience it.
I did a lol-ful party last week in Picturehouse Central. THAT’S A NICE VENUE. A disco in a cinema (ok, member’s bar) is a very good thing. I would like to do more please.
This month workwise I am doing THIS:
A wedding in the Cotswolds, Saturday 10th September
Although we’re only on the second day of the month as I type, many things can be hotter than this July. A cup of tea left out for a couple of hours, a faulty boiler, my freezing cold heart… God I always harp on about the weather. ‘Tis fundamental to our culture in this septic isle it seems. ANYWAY, back to the razzle dazzle disco business of which I should be quacking about as my life is non-stop exciting GLAMMA 24/7 of course.
After returning to London a weary muck-splattered sequinned soldier from my disco marathon at the muddiest Glastonbury EVER (true facts) on Monday – proving a touch more than a challenge for a person with a low tolerance for any kind of dirt – was unexpectedly smacked back to reality by hosting Old Queen’s Head always-LOLZ pop quiz, then playing records post-cabaret show at the beautiful Bloomsbury Ballroom last night. A welcome bounce back to be honest, otherwise I would have just sat on the sofa staring / got lost on Mail Online / despaired over the state of the WORLD etc. Re BB, the show runs until the end of this month – you can find out more about it by clicking on these words.
The best way to spend Sunday, I promise. And I never lie. A three course brunch of foodie delight awaits as you recline on sofas, pop on your complimentary slippers and spend your Sunday in a luxurious state of pampered bliss as the ever excellent W staff attend to your every dining and drinking need. They might just plump up your cushions if you ask nicely. I’m on disco duty behind the decks with a more soulful set as appropriate for a Sunday when ears can be a little delicate and in need of gentle reviving. 12-4pm, book in here
Back in banging Cumbria for the excellent Kendal Calling. Such a top festival in a truly breathtaking part of the world. Am in the House Party House (it is a house, promise) at 7pm to start their Friday night partying in super neon style. Tickets / info here
It’s been a while… bringing the bangers to my old stomping ground, the unstoppable Guilty Pleasures. Hosting the top bar and perhaps gracing the stage if there’s any glow sticks left… tickets / info here
That’s it for now. Follow me on Twitter for last minute additions / non-important information if you really really want
In the metropolis, June so far has been nothing like flaming. Flaming MISERABLE maybe, but closer to February weather wise than the sunshine smacked ideal we have in mind when we step into summer. However, it’s only three days young so perhaps one should lay off with the hating.
I am quite excited. Nothing new as am somewhat of an overexcitable soul but, I will be hosting Speed Duetting at Lucky Voice, Islington, Wednesday 15th June. It’s speed dating, with a karaoke flavour. This means I am essentially Cilla Black. This thrills me immensely.
They are collaborating with Bumble, the dating app for this night of sweet singing love. You can find out more about Bumble here and indeed download said app, then get your larynx all warmed up to sing yourself into someones heart. It’s one million times more fun than your average speed dating and maybe you’ll meet your perfect partner to serenade yourself silly to.
Alongside djing, I do a spot of hosting. Quizzes, (Rave) Karaoke and the odd cabaret show. Am doing 2 x turns of thus this week. First up, Karaoke!
This Thursday 12thMay at the marvellous 76 Dean Street Soho House, will be hosting Pop Masters Karaoke from 9.30pm for all the show offs of Soho to belt out some bangers. God, I love alliteration. I know it’s quite naff but then, I AM quite naff…
Anyhoo, it’s packed full of pop favourites for nearly-the-weekend fun. It’s free! If you’re a member. So become one quick or find someone who is and come and have a sing.
Hosting part two is Friday 13th May for the fantastic Alternative Eurovision at the glorious London Wonderground. I LOVE DOING THIS SHOW. It’s my fourth year as compere and it is the MOST fun. Ten top cabaret stars adopt a country from the fine singing union and represent them in their very own original song and style, for Alt Euro GLORY. It’s daft, it’s silly, it definitely contains nudity AND swearing and is the perfect warm up for the real deal on Saturday night as well as being a pretty perfect Friday night out!
I went to Barcelona last Friday to play Razzmatazz. It was ACE. Always is. Was home before I knew it and djing up The Shard. That’s not a euphemism, one would never be so coarse. I was djing up at the very top of the Shard. It’s terrifyingly high and the toilets don’t have blinds and it’s like doing a wee in the Thames. If that doesn’t sell it to you, then nothing will.
It’s dead sunny and warm here, hope it is with you. BYE.
Doing me Big Bumper Pop Quiz on Sunday 24th April at the splendid Shoreditch House. It starts after you’ve finished digesting your roast dinner at 6pm in the Library.
Here is an enticing description of what’s in store:
A trashular spectacular quiz from the poundshop queen of pop, DJ Anna Greenwood. Testing your brains with showbiz trivia from tv, music and celeb gossip, it’s a quiz for those fluent in emoji, know their CBB from their MIC and always have an eye on the Sidebar of Shame.
Featuring: Name that Tune (on the recorder), Instaham (where Instagram meets Ham) and THE MADNESS OF KANYE rounds. Prizes, medals and GLORY for winners, mega LOLZ for all!
Maximum six members per team. No cheating or googling or we’ll throw your phone in the pool
No doubt you are ALL clamouring to come after reading that. If you’re a member then it’s free. That’s good isn’t it? You need to be a member to go there anyway. But if you ask me nicely I could perhaps bagsy a table for ya’ll. Drop me a line – email@example.com
Kicking off 2016 at the brilliant Bugged Out Weekender in Bognor after a whirlwind of a debut year in 2015 – blagging appearances at festivals and parties throughout the UK – the glowsticks, whistles and VIBES, Rave Karaoke will be live and direct for your raving delight in London town once again. BANGING.
What with it being Valentine’s, we’re especially loved up for this month’s party and ready to share it with you all. Hosted by ME, the RK creator, I’ve got the love and all the tunes to make you move and sing yourself silly to – from Snap to So Solid Crew, Dizzee to Daft Punk, Reel 2 Real to Rozalla – choose your track, then take to the stage and RAVE.
Like normal karaoke the words are on the screen. Unlike normal karaoke you’re set for a proper trip so step to the mic, grab a glowstick and…get right on one!
Have you got the love? Can U feel it? Are you horny? Horny horny horny? Let RK be your fantasy and come and share the rave love!
Well it is in the party world. PARTY WORLD. Imagine if that were a real place. A 24/7 PARDEE. Like being in Made in Chelsea maybe.
But yes, Christmas parties are all a go-go and indeed it has been Christmas on the fourth floor of Liberty since August. I’m going to lots of these parties, but more as the turn than the guest. But no doubt they will all be glo-ooo-oooo-oooo-oooo-ooo-rious.
Christmas cabaret show with me whirling about in between and after some rather amazing acts who can do things with their bodies and voices most humans can’t. They’re kind of like superheroes in a way. Except their powers don’t extend to actual flight and / or shooting lazers out of their eyes. But maybe one day… anyway, you get an amazing dinner and show in a beautiful room – tickets and info here
Step into the W Lounge, pop your slippers on and get set for a super deluxe Sunday where a three course brunch will be served to you by the wonderful W staff. I’ll be playing music throughout and all you have to do is sprawl around on sofas and generally slob out. In an elegantly refined way of COURSE. 12- 4pm every Sunday, book yourself in here and make the most of your weekend
TUESDAY DECEMBER 8TH – PRIVATE CHRISTMAS PARTY
THURSDAY DECEMBER 10TH – PRIVATE CHRISTMAS PARTY
FRIDAY 11TH DECEMBER – H&M OXFORD CIRCUS
Soundtracking the festive get-up getting from 12-4pm
Here are Slade, the captains of Christmas to add some visual marvel to this list of words and words and words
MONDAY DECEMBER 14TH – CHRISTMAS CRACKERS KARAOKE, SOHO HOUSE
One-off seasonal special at the original Soho House in the last working week before Christmas. Unless you’re a nurse. Hosted by ME, there will be a selection of classic Christmas songs to sing, as well as prizes for best performance, most festive attire and most impressive embodiment of the season. Or something. To be honest I will be randomly awarding the prizes to whomever I think deserves one. A bit like Santa, but without the beard, reindeers and belly. So nothing like Santa. It’s for members only so hurry up and be one or get mates with one and come along – 7pm start.
Final hurrah of 2015 sees me take to the fantastic Southbank stage for a massive party in every room of this tremendous building. Not that I will be in EVERY room. As much as I would like to be, it’s not all about me. SIGH. Anyway, come say SEE YA to 2015 and HIYA to 2016 – tickets info and stuff here
And that’s IT. 2015 OVAH. Heck, that’s gone terribly fast hasn’t it? Ah well, best get on with new stuff for the New Year then. And maybe find some time to buy some presents before 25th…
Well would you look at that. We’re in what the music industry calls Q4, where all the big hitting albums are released, X Factor and Strictly is on telly for YEARS and it’s well dark out. And raining. However, as I type it’s still sunny so maybe this will be the glorious Autumn everyone imagines. All that big coats and boots and crisp morning fantasy chat, when in reality it’s windy, raining like heck and pavements are a constant invitation to do your ankle in with an abundance of soggy leaves.
Yeah, REAL TALK. Deal with it.
Here’s what I’ll be doing amongst the pavement slides and sighing at the amount of layers to wear of a morning:
THURSDAY 1ST OCTOBER – FOX AUTUMN SHOWCASE – CENTRAL ST MARTINS
It’s private babes., yeah? For the telly folk. I am going to be dressed a bit like a pop star who is in one of their shows. I can’t say who yet, but I am excited already.
A James Bond extravaganza at the beautiful Bloomsbury Ballroom. Each event will take its lead from a Bond film with performers, dinner, drinks and ME in an appropriate frock getting a disco going! First one is From Russia With Love. Am going to have my hair DEAD straight and look well serious. Have a look at the video here and all booking info and so on is here
SATURDAY 3RD OCTOBER – H&M OXFORD CIRCUS / KANDY POP – BOUNCE
Double disco day – first stop H&M Oxford Circus for shop popping 12-4pm, then disco balls meet ping pong balls at Bounce for Kandypop my new residency from 9pm – 1.30am. In between am having a nap. I love a nap.
Lovely Sunday deluxe relaxation – amazing food and drinks, slippers so you can put your feet all over the sofas, loadsa sweets and a tv room to watch endless Ab Fab repeats in. Not bad for £25. Oh and I play records! Not too loud though, I know you may have sensitive ears of a Sunday. Info! Booking! HERE
My trash culture quiz for the snazzy members bar propping up Bethnal Green Road. Testing some of London’s coolest brains on facts about low brow fims, one hit wonders and sizes of instagram stars arses. CLASSY. 7pm start
Taking the quiz up West! The cleanest pavements and hair lie in Notting Hill. Last time I was there someone asked me if Bingo Halls still existed. An insight to another world. I LOVE IT. Quizzing starts at 7pm for them there members.
You know the drill now – website has the info Film this time is The Spy Who Loved Me, which incidentally is my favourite Bond theme. It’s the Carly Simon Factor. Such lovely teeth. Let’s have a picture of them to break up these endless words
YES! Back FINALLY at The Old Queen’s Head after taking RK round the country. Come get on a ragga tip, re-re wind and let me be your fantasy as we go raving karaoke style. An arsenal of glow sticks and whistles will keep us dancing and singing and having a right good time. 8 – 11pm. TICKETS HERE OI OI
Am referencing The Bangles with this post, what with it being September and me being a girl. Bit obscure praps, but it’s my site so I can do what I fancy. SUCH FREEDOM. That’s the Bangles up there in case it isn’t obvious yet. Click on the pic and you can hear the track.
What I didn’t know was that the song is spelt September GURLS, even though I had the tape as a yoof. Also it sounds a bit like Moonlight Shadow doesn’t it?
ANYWAY, summer’s done one – well in honesty, it did one in late July – so here is a new month and indeed season. Here’s what I’ll be doing in a professional sense. Haha, professional!
THURSDAY 10TH – H&M STUDIO LAUNCH – REGENT ST STORE, 9AM-1PM
LOVELY new collection, of which us djs playing at the launch have been gifted some us. It’s not a bad life.
AOL SUMMER PARTY – FABRIC
Later that day / night am playing at the above. It’s for the company only, but thought I’d let you know.
FRIDAY 11TH – H&M STUDIO LAUNCH – OXFORD ST STORE, 1-5PM
Continuing the launch at the Oxford St store. Maybe I’ll wear some different clobber from the collection. Or ALL of the pieces.
SATURDAY 12TH – H&M POP UP – BRICK LANE, 2-6PM
H&M AGAIN! This time East side for the last few weeks of its pop ups. They have free coffee, lollies and cocktails for shoppers AS WELL as clothes. That’s good isn’t it? Oh and ME playing some records to soundtrack the afternoon to.
SUNDAY 13TH, 20TH & 27TH – W DOES BRUNCH – W HOTEL, 12-4PM
Lovely lovely brunch, lovely lovely W, sofas, slippers, amazing food and drinks, super staff, tv room, loadsa mirrorballs and me playing records in a fancy frock. INFO / BOOKING AND THAT HERE
NEW! NEW! NEW! Brand new monthly night of themed karaoke cavorting and carousing! Every month the theme will change and thus the track list will cut its cloth accordingly from the ginormous catalogue of Lucky Voice songs. For the first party on September 15th, we’ll be stepping back to the 70s and into our sequins for a night of DISCO. Hosted by ME. MORE INFO AND BOOKING HERE!
New party at the brill Bounce, a ping pong bar. My mate Zoe is amazing at ping pong. Like Monica in Friends. But not as violently competitive. Anyway, this is a new weekly party. It hasn’t got a name yet. But it will have. It’s from the people who brought you Buttoned Down Disco. I’m going to be one of the residents. I am toying with a frock made of ping pong balls. It might distract from the fact I am hopeless at ping pong. But then I’ll be playing records so I probably best concentrate on that really.
My trash culture quiz returns after its summer haitus. Will be testing the brains of the SDH members from the hi brow worlds of music, tv, film and more via the sidebar of shame, Heat and Take a Break mag.
Think that’s it work wise. Other than that I’ll be living la vida loca. Am not quite at Ricky Martin’s level, but it’s good to have something to aim for.