FRIDAY NIGHT CHRISTMAS DISCO

It’s next Friday 13th (eek) at The Social. It won’t be unlucky, it’ll be tinsel-tastic and baubly brilliant.

Apologies for the shocking puns, I am no good at this so why I am even trying I don’t know.

It’s on until 3am too. That’s the magic of Christmas and licensing laws

 

Dates and updates (and balls)

Amongst the sunshine and general aceness of August (well done the weather) I did the following:

Djed at two weddings, played rooftop parties at Shoreditch House, cooked my parents a 40th wedding anniversary tea, Brunched x 4 at W Does Brunch, had train journeys that lasted five times more than they ever needed to, played a Bowling lane (didn’t bowl, just djed, I have issues with the shared shoes), moved flat, sampled several types of wedding cake (lemon was best), played at Razzmatazz in Barcelona, ate a lot of food in Barcelona, didn’t want to come home from Barcelona and finished with Guilty Pleasures at KOKO.

Whilst in Barcelona walking the glorious streets, I noticed the Sagrada Familia has got new balls on its turrets. Ok, not technically balls, but that just sounds funnier. Well, I think so. Anyway, look, BALLS:

So now it is September and what in the hell is happening? Apart from Great British Bake Off and reeling from a somewhat farcical end to the transfer window for United, here are a few things I’ll be doing:

QUIZ

Quizzically Challenged – The Phoenix – Wednesday 4th September – 7pm

Trash quiz, max lolzz, crap prizes, honest hosts. With Neil Prince as glamorous co-host. Info here

BIRTHDAY PARTY

Not mine. A private one. At Concrete, Thursday 5th. You can only go if invited. Thems the rules.

FRIDAY NIGHT DISCO

At the Social, Friday 13th (eeek!) from 8pm. Pop, Rock, Disco, Hip Hop, RNB, FUN for your Friday night.

You can rsvp to the Facebook event. Or not. It’s your call.

BRUNCH

W Does Brunch every Sunday from 12pm at London’s super spangly W Hotel in Leicester Square. Sofas, slippers, lounging, amazing food, bottomless Bloody Mary’s, sweets and treats, TV room and soothing Sunday sounds for battered brains from me.

Book in here

MINI BREAK

Going to Dorset with my family. They’re going for a week, I’m doing three days. That’s this year’s holiday. Poor me, a boo hoo etc. Better than nothing, and we’re going here for posh lunch.

PRIVATE PARTY

In Tunbridge Wells. Is it Royal Tunbridge Wells or just regular civilian? Google says ROYAL. Woo, swanky.

I’m djing after some pop stars. By no means am I pretending to not be excited about this.

SHOREDITCH HOUSE

More roof party fun, this time on Thursday 26th September. PLEASE DON’T RAIN.

WEDDING

It’s in a barn. It’s my first barn gig ever. Double the fun.

GUILTY PLEASURES

Pop bedazzlement at glorious KOKO in Camden. Tickets, info, pictures, prices and MORE here 

This week

I’m doing this:

The Hitman and Her – Dalston Superstore – Thursday 8th – 9.30pm-3am

With Neil Prince as Hitman and me as her we unite in our pop love for a Thursday night disco frolic in Superstore.

 

Friday Night Disco – The Social – Friday 9th – 7pm-1am

Putting a wallop your weekend with an arsenal of dance floor bombs, pumpers and bangers. It’s how all Friday nights should start.

 

Wedding – Hampshire – Saturday 10th 

Obviously this is a private event so you can’t come. Unless you are invited of course. Did a wedding the Saturday just gone so am getting my fair share of celebration cakes currently. That cake was an Austrian Orange and Almond one. A good flavour combo. Well done everyone.

 

W Does Brunch – W Hotel – Sunday 11th (and every Sunday) – £25

Rounding off the weekend, come collapse on luxurious sofas, step into slippers and stuff yourself stupid whilst I soundtrack your indulgent Sunday. It’s the best way to end your week.

But before all that fun happens, I am moving. This isn’t fun.

Endless boxes.

Heavy stuff.

Shouting.

Some crying.

More boxes.

GREAT TIMES.

 

July (in retrospective)

As highlighted many times, I am quite dreadful at updating my website. Nearly two whole months have passed without so much as a word appearing upon these cyber pages. Truly dreadful.

July is nearly at an end. The weather’s been ace. I keep doing mean things to my right leg / toes unintentionally. I’ve done some gigs. Here is a synopsis:

QUIZZICALLY CHALLENGED

At the Phoenix, We had an a special round in advance of the birth of Prince Cambridge and got the teams to draw a picture of what the Royal baby would look like. Half of them had tails. One was a pig / boy with orthodox Jewish hair and hat. None of them got it right. But we all had a marvellous time.

H&M 

Played the Oxford Circus store on a belting Friday afternoon. London was so hot that everyone skivved work and sat in the park. I didn’t. Although I don’t have what one terms a “proper job”. They don’t know my plight, my suffering, MY ART. (Neither do I)

W DOES BRUNCH

We did, and continue to, do Brunch every Sunday at the spangly W Hotel in Leicester Square. It’s the massive spaceship building plonked in front of the square. It’s super glam and super ace if you like lounging around in your slippers, reading the papers, eating and drinking delicious things and listening to music by me. Not by me as in I wrote it – this is never wise – but that I select and play because that’s what djs do and that. You should come along. Book in with Holly on 0207 758 1060.

FRIDAY NIGHT DISCO

Second Friday of the month. The Social. With me and like-minded dj friends. It starts at 7pm and stops at 1am. Pop bangers, party hip hop, disco a go-go and rnb pumpers. Free before 9pm too. What more can one ever want for  Friday night pray tell?

TOE / LEG

I broke my big toe. It wasn’t too bad a break, a mere crack in the top of the digit. At the hospital a week later, I was told and shown on my x-ray that unbeknownst to me, I had broken it six weeks before. HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS? Am I made of titanium? Maybe I am a robot after all. Cool. I hobbled through gigs. I didn’t liken myself to people with missing limbs like Jessie J did when she broke her foot though. With pop success brings great humility. Clearly, I have a way to go…

MINISTRY OF SOUND

Played right after Tongy and just before Tiesto obvs. (Was for Metro’s Summer Party, a private event) (No Pete Tong or Tiesto. I played after the canapes to a room of excitably and somewhat refreshed people who were enjoying themselves superbly). It will probably be the first and last time I ever play Ministry, one expects. Not sure I’m what the ravers are after. But I can certainly embellish this to impress the / my sister’s grandchildren. Although in the future, clubs probably won’t exist as we will all be able to virtually go there via a computer chip in our eyes, so whichever grandchildren I am recounting this tale too will be rolling their eyes at how uncool I am and my retro former life. Oh technology.

Ministry. My new residency. (When they lose their minds)

SHOREDITCH HOUSE

Played the Square Bar on the eve of its closure whilst they tart it up. It was a HOT night in London that night. Everyone was on the roof. As will I be on 30th August when I play next. PLEASE DON’T RAIN. PLEASE.

 LATITUDE

Annual Guilty Pleasures hoorah in the Comedy Arena (we’re so the LOLZZ) to a heady mass of hedonists at the Latitude festival. One of my favourite gigs of the year. Latitude is ace and in such a beautiful part of this here country. No rain, no mud (hooray!), lots of sun and lots of fun. Oh look, a rhyme. Despite a wally on the roof of Ipswich train station making the journey somewhat arduous (it involved trains, taxis, rapid leg motion and a coach with no air con and a dog that was insistent on standing on my feet – right leg / toe took most of the strain of course, because it’s cursed – in about 50 degree temperatures, it didn’t marr the amazement that is Latitude. It had a bloody good go though. But it was 1-0 in Latitude vs wally / journey.

GUILTY PLEASURES

To KOKO for a beach party for Guilty Pleasures. Wore a dress made of fake flowers which looked ace and a bit like a walking vase, but on a hot night in a club throwing yourself around in rhythmic style isn’t the most cooling of get ups. In toe news, pre-gig I poured a large and very hot cup of tea all over my foot – right one of course – which soaked my shoe and produced a blister as big as my little toe on my little toe. Like it was trying to create a sixth toe, or smother the actual toe. It was not dissimilar to How to get Ahead in Advertising, that film with Richard E Grant where he grows another head. But it was a blister rather than a head. So not that similar, but oh, you know.

Richard, I feel your pain. Oh I AM like Jessie J after all..

 

I did some other stuff too, not just regarding injuries either, but think we’ve all heard enough for now.

 

Ok bye.

 

Flaming June

Here’s where I am this month in case you want to come and look / listen / dance and that.

Wednesday 5th June – Quizzically Challenged – The Phoenix

A quiz. For people with simple minds or who may like Simple Minds. I can take or leave them to be honest, but the quiz is hosted by myself and Neil Prince and it’s hugely lo-brow in terms of questions but hugely hilarious thanks to our gifted brainzzz.

Starts at 7pm. Book yourself in here

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Friday 7th June

Double disco – H&M Oxford Circus, 12pm – 4pm amongst the leggings, then Shoreditch House 10pm – 3am.

Every Sunday – Brunch! At W Does Brunch in the super spangly W Hotel in Leicester Square. Relax, unwind and feast in slippers on sofas whilst I dj throughout your dining delights. The Welsh Rarebit is the highlight of my week. It’s ridiculously delicious. I think about it at least four times an hour. You may think this is tragic, but that clearly means you haven’t had it. Because you would do the same.

Read about it here (Brunch, not the rarebit). Call 0207 758 1060 to book in.

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Friday Night Disco – The Social – Friday 14th June

My monthly disco at London’s home of hedonism, The Social. Come whirl your way into the weekend.

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Saturday 15th June – DocFest – Sheffield

Making the annual jaunt to the Pennines for the brilliant DocFest weekend of documentary delegates going nut nut on the dancefloor.

Read about Doc Fest here. Only if you like. You should though. It’s ace.

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Saturday 22nd June 

Wedding! LOVE A WEDDING ME. Last week I did one in Surrey and there were TWO flavours of wedding cake. I had four pieces. A solid 8/10.

Oh you can’t come to the wedding unless your’re invited soz.

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Saturday 29th June

Another wedding!  And Guilty Pleasures at KOKO.

Again, same rules apply re wedding in terms of going, but good news, you’re always invited to Guilty Pleasures. Book a ticket and read about the party here.

It’s my sister’s birthday in that week too. Same day as George Michael. They’re not very alike though, well as far as I can tell. She’s ok driving, but not very good at singing and being a megastar. However she’s never been given the chance so who knows.

Ok bye

 

 

 

 

Things I have been doing / about to do / not mentioned

So it seems I am one of those people who has a blog that they neglect to update. I didn’t think it would be this way, but it is. Besides, I’ve never been a “blogger” type. I am not very social media minded. I don’t photograph my dinners and put it on twitter or tag myself in Facebook things because frankly, WHO CARES?

But, one has to self publicise to some degree in this game and therefore here are some things that I have been doing and am about to do.

Rave Karaoke

Did this at the Bugged Out Weekender. I wore a white boiler suit and an Alternat8 mask, the latter of which I made myself. (Really it was just a dust mask + marker pen’d “A”, but saying making it myself sounds much more impressive non?) The big hitters were Haddaway’s “What is Love” and Artful Dodger’s “Re-rewind (The Crowd Say Bo Selecta)”. Hopefully the Rave Karaoke will re-emerge in a slightly better boiler suit this time later in the year. Naturally my up-to-the-minute blog will be the first point of call for this news…

http://youtu.be/VVmbhYKDKfU

Haddaway – Big in Bognor

In other Karaoke chat, this month’s Karaoke Tuesdays at Concrete on 26th takes its lead from it being the month of love,  theme is DUMPED. For all those that have been, about to be or think love can do one frankly, come wail your blackened / broken heart away below Pizza East next week. See how / when / where here

Cathartic wailing welcome – DUMPED at Concrete.

I will be making or rather playing sweet, sweet music of the loving kind this Friday 15th at Friday Night Disco at the Social , with some pop pumpers and rnb belters to make the weekend start in a way that makes you fall even more in love with your other half or if single, makes you fall in love full stop. Not sure what with, but one likes to remain optimistic and open minded that love can occur wherever and has no boundaries. As long as it’s tasteful mind.

I have new neighbours both above and below me. They both like to have their telly’s at gran-like volume levels. I can hear their telly over mine and I am a tinitus-riddled dj so their ears must be super knacked.

Jetting off to warmer climbs this Saturday 16th, playing the super amazing and most excellent Razzmatazz in Barcelona on Saturday night. Or rather Sunday morning what with Spain being crackers and that. My set starts at 3am (I know!) ending as the sun rises over the med. It really is one of the best clubs ever. Everyone is ace in there and is so much fun. The next day I will force myself out of bed and max out my hours in Catalunya eating as much crema catalana as I can manage before flying back to a cold and greying London.

That’s Barcelona. It’s alright isn’t it?

Been playing the Soho House group of members clubs of late and so far this year have scored a hattrick playing the latter, Shoreditch and Little House. Quite fancy Miami next please. Or Berlin. Really I’m not fussy. They’re loads of fun. You may have gathered that I like fun. I do.

The new Justin Timberlake single is good. Not Suit and Tie. That was the opposite of good. This one, Mirrors. It’s good. The only troublesome matter that needs addressing is how much JT looks like Olly Murs.

      

Or is it the other way round? Either way this wasn’t meant to happen! Stop ruining JT for me Olly!

GO AWAY.

NOW.

Think that’s enough quacking for a bit.

Bye

 

 

 

Birthday disco

Hello / Happy New Year / Happy Birthday / Hi

Been eating large amounts of fat in all its glorious forms hence silence upon this here dazzling website.

Back at the Social next week. My Birthday week too, so it’s only polite you attend frankly or consider yourself OFF the Christmas card list. Yes, big talk for 2013.

Starts at 7pm. It’s good fun. I won’t be doing big talk then. Big dancing probs more likely.

 

Christmas Crackers (continued)

So I forgot to say what last week’s party crackers were as I was too busy panic buying presents and having chocolate for breakfast.

You might not have been that interested anyway, but I had a great time playing at suitably seasonal affairs for the public and private alike. There was a private pop stars Karaoke Party at Concrete where ALL the staff dressed as popstars and stepped up to the mic; a belter of a Christmas soiree at The House of St Barnabus for the ever fun Cow Events and Guilty Pleasures Cinema Party at the Troxy on Saturday. How about you? (See I’m interested in you, even if it’s not reciprocated. It’s just how I am…)

This week is the final furlong and tonight I’m at the Social for a private party where the staff have recorded their own reworking of Band Aid and I debut the recording tonight! I love this. I wish I worked for them. Just for this really. I’m not really sure what it is they do, but if this is part of their Christmas party then they must be alright frankly.

Band Aid. Endless LOLs there clearly…

Then on Friday I’m back at the Social for Friday Night Christmas Disco! That’s the usual fun and Friday night frolics, but all with an added injection of Christmas larks! And heralding! And HARKING! We all need more harking.  Amy Sink the Pink is the special guest and we’ll be weaving our seasonal magic upon the dancefloor for the last time in 2012 and if the world does end as the Mayans seem to be constantly reminding us in a bid to ruin Christmas, then there’s worse places to be to be honest. Locked in a horrible toilet. Stuck down a well. Although both those scenarios aren’t fun when the world isn’t ending. Imagine how terrible it would be if it were?

Enough of that doom talk, the disco starts at 7pm and goes on until 3am for those people who don’t like going home. Free before 9pm, £5 after. Step into Christmas with me!

(This picture represents Christmas disco via the medium of mini mirrorball + tree.)

Saturday I’ll be at Bloomsbury Bowl wearing sequins and playing disco pop whilst people throw massive heavy balls at skittles and high five each other a lot. I’m rubbish at bowling, I either throw it behind me, or dent the floor a bit or usually it just goes straight down the ditch bit either side. Think I’ll stick to the record playing bit. Besides, I’m not keen on the shoes. I’m on 9pm – 12am. In my own shoes.

On Sunday I am going to make loads of chocolates and cakes and treats for Christmas and try not to eat them on the train on the way to my sister’s.

And that’s that.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

GIGS AND THAT

Here’s some things I’m doing that you may want to know about. Whoever you may be. Hello.

FRIDAY NIGHT DISCO

It’s tonight. Apologies for the short notice. Just tape Corrie and come down for a dance.

SATURDAY 24TH NOVEMBER – GUILTY PLEASURES 8TH BIRTHDAY

Bathing in the fountain of pop keeps one youthful.

Theme is Heroes and Villains. I may go as Joan Collins as Alexis Carrington in Dynasty, thus straddling the divide.

TUESDAY 27TH NOVEMBER KARAOKE TUESDAYS – AMERICAN IDOLS

God Bless the US. We salute the star spangled American pop Kings and Queens at Concrete for mid week singing silliness and pizza and prosecco LARKS.

Also, I went to the Zoo yesterday. Despite most the animals being asleep / cold, November mid week is the best time to go. It’s worth it for Penguin Beach alone.

Tra

Friday Night Disco – October 19th

Friday Night Disco on 19th October sees my monthly party at The Social swing back into view with guaranteed larks a-plenty and a snazzy new poster as seen above.

It’s a six hour all-killer no-filler foot-stomping drink-spilling jump-up-and-down party. With fellow musically minded dj Neil Prince joining me on the decks, we’ll be starting your weekend the way it should be – in a crash, bang WALLOP of fun.

Playing pop bangers, disco firecrackers, rnb pumpers, rock thumpers and records that make you fling yourself about in an excitable way – come join the conga on the n-n-n-n-n-nineteenth!

Starts at 7pm stops at 1am. It’s free before 9pm, £5 after. And this is the Social’s website so you can see how to get there so you don’t get lost