Hostess with the Mostess

Mostess IS a word.

Alongside djing, I do a spot of hosting. Quizzes, (Rave) Karaoke and the odd cabaret show. Am doing 2 x turns of thus this week. First up, Karaoke!

This Thursday 12th May at the marvellous 76 Dean Street Soho House, will be hosting Pop Masters Karaoke from 9.30pm for all the show offs of Soho to belt out some bangers. God, I love alliteration. I know it’s quite naff but then, I AM quite naff…

Anyhoo, it’s packed full of pop favourites for nearly-the-weekend fun. It’s free! If you’re a member. So become one quick or find someone who is and come and have a sing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hosting part two is Friday 13th May for the fantastic Alternative Eurovision at the glorious London Wonderground. I LOVE DOING THIS SHOW. It’s my fourth year as compere and it is the MOST fun. Ten top cabaret stars adopt a country from the fine singing union and represent them in their very own original song and style, for Alt Euro GLORY. It’s daft, it’s silly, it definitely contains nudity AND swearing and is the perfect warm up for the real deal on Saturday night as well as being a pretty perfect Friday night out!

GET A TICKET HERE  

DOUZE POINTS POUR MOI

And here’s a lovely piece those people at This Is Cabaret wrote about it. They speak 100% TRUTHS

OTHER NEWS

I went to Barcelona last Friday to play Razzmatazz. It was ACE. Always is. Was home before I knew it and djing up The Shard. That’s not a euphemism, one would never be so coarse. I was djing up at the very top of the Shard. It’s terrifyingly high and the toilets don’t have blinds and it’s like doing a wee in the Thames. If that doesn’t sell it to you, then nothing will.

It’s dead sunny and warm here, hope it is with you. BYE.

The Final Wow

Last WOW Show tomorrow at London Wonderground. SIGH. Have really enjoyed doing this. I don’t want it to go yet. There’s still so much we can do together. We’ve only just got to know each other and now we are to be parted. Such cruelty.

One shall be fighting back the emotions and trying not to fall over as I introduce and chat to this lovely lot from 9.30pm on Wednesday 3rd September:

FLORIAN BROOKS

Yes, he’s been on before, but he was so entertaining he’s coming back. A juggler. A dapper juggler at that. As well as good at lobbing stuff about quit elegantly, he’s also very witty and gives good chat. Last time he told us about juggling a cat. Let’s see if he can top that tomorrow. Read more about Florian here

JAVIER THE CARD NINJA

Not his actual name. Well, Javier is, but the rest of it is a description for what he does. He’s very nimble with a deck of cards. Years spent alone in a bedroom apparently. It’s ninja-like in how quick he is and also how cool it looks. Because ninjas are cool. Even the teenage mutant turtle ones. If you can’t wait to feast your eyes upon him tomorrow, then have a look at him here.

PAUL THORNE

Paul Thorne is a comedian for those of you who don’t know. For those of you who don’t know what a comedian is, it’s a person who tells jokes and amusing stories to make you laugh. And this is a proper job. As long as you’re good at it of course. Luckily Paul is otherwise he wouldn’t be with us. You can catch him at the Comedy Store weekly as well as around the country in various venues. FInd out more about Paul here

ONE MOTION CREW

The line up is completed by our in-house band of breaking brothers who are set to get you jiggy in your seat with their dazzling display of dancing that’ll make you want to jump up and join them. Luckily we usually let one lucky audience member come up and see if they can pick up the basics to be a b-boy or girl. We don’t expect you to spin on your head though. We don’t want you to brain yourselves. See more of them here

And that’s it! See you tomorrow at the beautiful speigeltent for the final hurrah! Or WOW as I should say.

TICKETS AND OTHER STUFF LIKE THAT HERE 

Rooms With a View

I’ve been djing and hosting in some ace places the past few weeks. Shall we have a look at them? Ok!

RAZZMATAZZ

Ok, I know I’ve been here many, many times, but it is still one of my favourite places in the Universe. It’s such brilliant fun, everyone is so ace and it’s a guaranteed BANGER of a night out in this five-roomed disco mecca. It also happens to be in Barcelona, which as we know, isn’t too shabby a location. I was there at the end of July, sadly only for the night, but still was a belter of a night up in the pop bar, packed with revellers dancing until dawn. Can’t WAIT to go back.

CANNON BRIDGE ROOF GARDENS

Cannon Bridge Roof Gardens feat. Pete Fowler mid-daub

Ashamedly, I didn’t even know this place existed before I went there. It’s a glorious garden on top of an office block in the city with the most spectacular views of London and the river. Was there on a BAKING hot summer’s evening for an amazing Miss Cakehead curated event for Go Ahead, them biscuits for people who are dieting but still want biscuits. It’s a service to be honest.

Miss Cakehead – whom I have mentioned before – is an event curator, pr specialist and all round ace face. For this rooftop rave, fruit was the inspiration so alongside the drinks, food and summertime sounds from the Mariachi band, there was melon bowling (yes, melons as the bowling balls), grape crushing a la the French (socks off if you please!), banana pinantas, the excellent Pete Fowler painting a fruity scene, oh and me! Djing dressed as a pineapple. LOOK AT MY DJ BOOTH! I very nearly died with love when I saw it.

Oh and it wouldn’t have been right had there not been cake. There was cake. Lots. Check these fellas out. They are cakes. Incredible.

 

Cake proof!

  

It was such ridiculous fun and ended with a masive disco dance on the lawns as the sun went down. So. Much. FUN.

I LOVE YOU LONDON *swoon*

HOTEL CAFE ROYAL

Cor. I was asked to compere Salon Des Artistes for Black Cat Cabaret here and what a room this is! So much gold! Such opulence! Such amazing history! Such temptation to get trollied on gin and lounge around in jewels on a chaise longue looking wistful smoking dead thin fags!  I didn’t manage the latter, seeing as one has to keep some sort of professional air.

Black Cat Cabaret and Salon Des Artistes host the cream of London’s cabaret stars weekly and is a properly entertaining night out with top notch acts who can do things that us mere mortals can’t. So let them do it and be dazzled by them instead. Was a joy to host and to watch such talented types work their magic.

THE THAMES

Ok, a boat on the Thames, but the Thames all the same. This was for the Hilton Park Lane’s annual saunter down the river and I soundtracked the soiree whilst trying not to fall over. It’s quite testing of one’s balance dancing on a moving vessel, none more so in stillies. Unfortunately the weather was a bit miz, but still managed to get some shots of night time London from the river’s eye.

Slight OCD light issues, but otherwise pretty

THE SHARD

Yeah, that massive piece of glass sitting next to London Bridge piercing the sky. I played right at the top of it. Ok, not the very top, but near enough – 69th floor. GULP. It’s high enough for me to be honest, heights are not my best mate, but was incredible to be up there playing records in the sky. I took some pictures (holding on to pillars and not being able to venture too close to the floor-to-ceiling windows for fear of vertigo attack and launching myself OUT of them) and also tried out there toilets which also boast the massive windows and NO BLINDS. You basically wee on London in full view. A pervert in an office block could see you go about your business if they so desired. My dad pointed out that it’s probably one-way glass. HOW WILL WE EVER KNOW? London Bridge from up high

Toilet to the world

LONDON WONDERGROUND Oh and have been hosting The WOW Show at London Wonderground every other Wednesday since early July. It’s so much fun and such a glorious space. Last one is on September 3rd. I will miss it 🙁

W HOTEL

And of course, W Does Brunch is still serving up a weekly tasty treat of food, drinks, music, telly, slippers, sofas and lounging around reading papers and generally maxing out Sunday. It’s somewhat of a sparkly space too. Better than your average Hotel bar, but then W isn’t your average! Spangly Sundays to make you smile.

SOUTHBANK CENTRE

Finally, this weekend sees The Big Wedding Weekend at the Southbank Centre where loads of couples will be wedded on mass then have a MASSIVE party in the glorious Clore Ballroom and I’m the dj! SCREAM.

I mentioned this a while ago and I have a frock made especially for it. It’s the closest I’ll get to being the bride EVER so am not exactly going to be shy with my attire… Pictures to follow.

Saturday’s chapel of love…

 

This week’s WOW

This isn’t about some discount offer or fitness tip. No, it’s about the WOW show, a little variety / chat show I’ve been hosting down at London Wonderground. This Wednesday 20th is our fourth show, why not join us and witness talented types do clever stuff with their bodies and brains? Tickets right here

AURORA GALORE

That’s a good name isn’t it? I am hoping it’s her real name, will be sorely disappointed if she’s called Karen Smith in real life. Not that there’s anything wrong with being called Karen Smith, but it’s a little less pizazzy than Aurora Galore. I’m called Anna Greenwood, so really I have no grounds to talk about names. But this isn’t about me, it’s about Aurora and her burlesque, fire breathing, tattoo’d amazingness. Get a taste of her here 

JOE LYCETT

Joe Lycett is a comedian. That means he tells jokes for coin. Not a bad life. As long as you’re good at it, otherwise if you’re not very funny then you won’t be able to afford food and clothes. Or you just get another job so you can afford said things. Joe doesn’t need another job because he has one and it keeps him fed and non-naked. You may have seen him on the telly. He’s also Attitude’s 57th hottest man, a position he won on total merit of sexiness, not at all to do with cajoling fans on Twitter and Facebook to vote. Not at all. More of Joe here

EMMA-LOUISE

Emma-Louise is a hula hooping, all dancing super skills performer. She’ll be wowing yus with her hooping about her body on Wednesday. Look at how bendy she is. Or maybe that’s how she moves around; one two hands and one foot rather than two feet as other able-bodied humans do. Maybe it’s a result from all that bending that this is the only position she’s comfy in. All this and more will be found out this week! See Emma on Facebook here. You can be her friend too if you want.

ONE MOTION CREW

They’re our resident b-boys. They can disco dance like no other. A team of hot-stepping, head-spinning, windmill-whirring men who can throw themselves about a stage in a manner that is rhythmic, impressive and rather exciting. Most of us can’t even do one of those things, or we think we can do ALL after a few pints of confidence on a Friday night. Most of us will fail. And knacker an elbow or limb. They won’t and don’t. Damn them. Check them out on Facebook here

They\ll be performing, I’ll be chatting to them and keeping the whole shebang running and you will be sitting in wonder and possibly participating. Sound good? Great! Starts at 9,30pm in a glorious speigeltent on London’s Southbank. Join us!

TICKETS TICKETS TICKETS  

WOW-WEEE

Hello

The WOW Show is BACK tomorrow (Wednesday 6th) at London Wonderground. A cabaret-come-chat show with me as your host. It starts at 9.30pm and you can get a ticket here And whom will be taking to the stage to give you a mid-week wallop of wonder? Why these talented types:

Florian Brooks

Florian Brooks is a juggler. He is very good at it though. Better than when your dad tries it with clementines at Christmas. Florian performs all over the world with his skills and most peoples’ dads’ don’t get that fair with their fruit tossing. Not sure if juggling is considered tossing though, elegant throwing? Chucking with panache? No doubt I will get answers on these matters tomorrrow. Read and see more of Florian here 

Delores Deluxe

Delores Deluxe. What a great name. Am hoping it’s her real one and not a stage name. Even if it isn’t her real name am going to continue to think it is. She’s a one woman cabaret star – singer, magician, burlesque-er, hostess, actress – she can turn her hand to all. She also set up and runs the Kitten Club,  cabaret night that preceded (pioneered?) the cabaret revival and scene in London town. Read about it and Delores here

Greg Burns

Greg Burns is a comedian and a dj. He is on the airwaves presenting Capital’s drive time show, rather than the djing kind that I do. Although he may do that too. I am not 100% sure. Not even 10% tbh. Perhaps I can ask him this so I can be 100% in my Greg Burns djing facts. Greg will be in the guise of comedian tomorrow rather than presenting his radio show on stage. He doesn’t have a website (from what I can find, again we can find the truth tomorow) but you can follow him on Twitter here 

One Motion Crew

One Motion Crew are a collective of dancers. Not high kicking or ballroom ones; they’re breakers and body poppers. A troupe of high energy b-boys who can throw themselves about the place in a rhythmically amazing way. Where most of us would end up with dislocated elbows and neck-knack, they effortlessly spin, windmill and whirl about, flexing limb and muscle in a fierce frenzy that’ll have you bouncing in your seat. Read more about them here 

See you all there tomorrow in our Speigeltent on the Southbank

TICKETS  INFO  OTHER STUFF

Big WOW

Hiya

I’m going to be hosting a few shows down at that glorious Southbank-housed Speigeltent, London Wonderground. It’s called the WOW Show. Because it’s just AMAZING. Or should I say, WOW. It also stands for Wonderground On Wednesdays, but if you make out it’s the greatest thing ever people totally buy into it, don’t they? So OMG WOW !!! it is.

TICKETS AND INFO THIS WAY

The first one is Wednesday 9th at 9.30pm. It’s a variety / chat show, with talented types appearing as well as highlighting how splendid London is with its cultutral offerings and characters and so forth. I’d really like Danny Dyer to be on it. If someone could help make that happen that would be great thanks.

But until my date with DYER-stiny, appearing on the debut show will be the following super talented, multi-national souls:

Miss Cakehead – she is a creative director / pr wizard and bonkers food curator, inventor of the Depressed Cake Shop (highlighting mental health via the medium of cake – all cakes were grey) as well as more frightening horror cakes, gynecological cakes as well as a host of other non-food but equally amazing stunts and projects. We’ll be finding out what makes her tick, how she gets her ideas and if she’s sick to death of cake yet. Read about her here

Glenn Wool – he is a comedian. From Canada no less. See told you it was international. Glen is very funny, which is a good job seeing as what his job is. He also has a resplendant ‘tache which he has been rocking looong before the hipsters started paying attention to facial hair. He actually has quite a lot of hair. Very healthy looking it is too. We’ll be getting a previe of his Edinburgh show as well as finding out how he keeps them locks so shiny. Read about him here

Javier Jarquin – he is a card ninja. What’s one of them then? Well he’s dead good with cards and doing tricks. Not birthday cards, although to befair he probably is good at those too. More playing cards. And not just snap either. He can make your eyes go wonky with his tricks and make you question reality itself. Not bad for something you can get for £1.99 hey? Cheaper than drugs! Also he can do high kicks that are more impressive than most showgirls. See more of him here

Sammy Dinneen – he is an acrobat / dancer and very, very good at balancing on his hands. Yeah whatevs you may think, but have you tried to do a handstand since you were 8 years old? It’s not easy. He makes it look a doddle though not to mention elegant and entertaining. Don’t try this at home mind, especially after the pub. You very well may brain yourself. We’ll be seeing how not to brain yourself on the night. See more of him here 

The next shows will be on 23rd July, 6th & 20th August & 3rd September. Check out the listings on the Wonderground site for line up, or even on here if I get my act together. Imagine.

Hope to see you there

 

 

 

Competition o’clock

Hiya

I’ve got a dead good competition for you. It’s not rubbish, it’s 100% real and 100% ace.

It’s a first for me to offer you such riches so don’t hesitate in taking advantage.

You can win two tickets to see the amazing Meow Meow at London Wonderground for her three week run starting this week. Tomorrow in fact, 20th May until 8th June. Here she is, looking fabzz.

Meow Meow: Big fan of dairy

Not heard of the kamikaze Cabaret superstar that is Meow Meow? OH YOU GIANT PHILISTINE, etc. Read about her here. If you haven’t heard of her then you’re in for a treat, if you have then you know already: I speak the truth, it IS a treat.

I saw her a few years ago at Edinburgh Festival and it was quite frankly one of the best things I have ever seen with my eyes. She’s funny, she’s clever, she’s dead good at singing, she’s quite a bit crackers, she’s got some top frocks and is all in all, a one-woman wonder.

Here’s what the papers have said about her:

‘There are not many women who can stun an audience into pin-drop silence with an exquisitely delivered torch song one moment and rock the rafters with laughter the next. Meow Meow is that rare combination – devilish funny bones and heavenly vocal chords.’
★★★★★The Evening Standard

‘Witness the birth of a new star…She is sensational’
★★★★★ The Times

That’s good isn’t it? So, you really should enter and win yourself some free five star action.

Ready? Ok, then answer the following question:

Meow Meow starred in The Umbrella’s Of Cherbourg in London’s West End in March 2011. What theatre did the show play in?

A)   The Apollo Theatre

B)    The Shaftesbury Theatre

C)   The Gielgud Theatre

Email the answer and your details to anna@annagreenwood.co.uk with MEOW MEOW in the title and maybe you will be the winner! I do hope so. I think you deserve it more than anyone.

GOOD LUCK

SMALL PRINT 

Terms and conditions

Winners will be selected at random from all correct entries. Winner receives a pair of tickets see Meow Meow at the London Wondergound for any Monday – Friday performance. Over 18’s only. Tickets to be collected at the box office with no cash alternative. Tickets are subject to availability and cannot be resold or transferred to another performance. Competition is run by boom ents.

 

May Day

Well technically May Day itself hath been and gone. But every day in May is a May Day so the topic still stands.

Here’s what I’m doing / have done these days in May:

Last week I played at the top of a very high building, Millbank Tower to be precise. It has splendid views, look

Bit of London from up high

On Saturday, I played in a castle for a wedding for a Princess. Ok, she wasn’t a real Princess, but it was a real castle. Peckforton Castle in Cheshire. They have an owl sanctuary. Not keen on owls. They’re sinister. Even the baby ones. How can you be comfortable around something / someone that does’t blink I ask you?

Regardless of the swivel-headed starers, it was ACE. Love weddings, especially ones where people are up for dancing immediately. Which these ones were. Then I clambered back on to the train to the capital the next day for W Does Brunch, which is still serving you up a delightful dining experience complete with slippers every Sunday in the spangly W Hotel. Book yourself in here.

This Friday 9th May, it’s the annual Alternative Eurovision at LondonWonderground, a beautiful spiegeltent that’sll be spending the summer on the Southbank. The show will have superstars of the Cabaret scene representing a country from this united / confused unity and singing their own song their bloody best for them. I’ll be hosting the show and the acts trying to get your vote will be:

Bourgeois & Maurice, Ida Barr, Lili La Scala, Dusty Limits, Roulston & Young, Benjamin Louche, Femmes on the Thames, Tom Moans, Tempest Rose, Des O’ Connor (NOT THAT ONE), Flange Krammer & Sophie Hagen.

BOOK HERE. It’s brilliant. It’s nothing like the show on the telly on Saturday, but then what is? We don’t have the budget for all them wind machines and interpretive dancers with meaningful expressions. It’s bizarro Euro. Which isn’t that bizarre and perhaps on reflection, is actually just like the show, but with more colourful language and possible nudity.

It’s also the opening gala night for London Wonderground itself, so you know, no biggie…

Inside the spiegeltent. Minus chairs, stage and humans.

Otherwise am at these places playing records and larking about. In a professional entertaining matter of course:

17th – 50th Party (probably didn’t need to tell you that as you can’t come unless invited)

23rd – Shoreditch House – on the roof!

24th & 25th – Weddings!

31st –Shoreditch House – pon de roof

 

I hope our paths cross upon the dancefloor

Tra

 

Eurovision: an Alternate view

Douze points pour Alternative Eurovision!

This isn’t a comment on Eurovision – which incidentally, I LOVE (who’d have thought?). It’s more about Alternative Eurovision from Time Out Live next Friday 17th May at London Wonderground! All those words sound fun together don’t they?

Well, you can look with your eyes at how much fun it is going to be here

LOOK, LOOK NOW AND BE WOWED

Featuring the cream of London’s Cabaret from Jonny Woo, to Tricity Vogue via East End Cabaret and Bryony Kimmings to other singing / dancing / performing sensations representing a country from this fine European nation which they don’t actually hail from. It’s all a big daft act you see, but all for your delight.

Oh yes, and it’s hosted by me! That’s why I’m telling you about it. Gosh, I’m at amazing at self publicity. It’s a real skill of mine.

Will be channeling past Eurovision stars throughout the show and thinking with a very non-UKIP frame of mind. If we left Europe then we really wouldn’t ever win Eurovision ever again. We’re still in the dog house for Iraq and that. Doing one would see us doomed for eternity. Who wants that? We must live in hope for future Euro glory!

See the full line up here and book your tickets for the annual camp cabaret jamboree!

 

Hostess trolley

Many outdoors events this year have involved umbrellas and wellies or a combo of the two. That’s not a thrilling combo either. Thankfully a hot ball of yellow fire is once again riding high in the sky and yesterday’s BT River of Music gig at Battersea park was a glorious way to end a weekend of work, playing pop as the sun set to a group of enthused souls who stayed to dance until going home time. Let’s hope for all of us, our unworn summer wardrobes and the Olympics of course, that the rain doesn’t return. Them clothes need an airing for a start and  it will just look awful on the telly if the deluge makes a comeback.

This week I am mainly playing the role of hostess. This doesn’t involve fixing drinks or making dinners, which is good news as it’d mainly end up on the floor otherwise. No, it’s more about giving a twirl at the following:

Starting tomorrow night at Concrete I’ll be rallying Tuesday revellers into stepping up to the mic for the bi-monthly Now That’s What I Call Karaoke nights as part of Concrete’s Karaoke East nights. Hip Hop Karaoke do one week and I the next. It’s a karaoke supperclub of sorts, as long as you like pizza, for that is the supper part.

Each one will have a theme of sorts, starting with Battle of the Sexes where pop legends shall be leading the charge in terms of the song selection and YOU as the star.

Starts at 7pm, pizza and arguing over who sings what at 7.30pm, then the stage is open for performing prowess from 8pm. You can book a table for tea (£15), or turn up just to sing (£5). I may be persuaded to sing myself. It doesn’t take much. I’m persuaded already. To be honest, it’s a worry whether I will allow anyone else a go. (I will) (Just one person though)

Then on Thursday I will be attempting athletic feats of compering at Time Out Live’s Alternative Opening Ceremony at London Wonderground. It’s the day before another opening ceremony happening in London that you may have heard about.

Featuring some of London’s top cabaret stars such as East End Cabaret, the Lipsinkers, Up and Over It and MORE – see here – they’ll be putting on a performance to dazzle any global audience. The pressure is ON when faced with the eyes of the world. One doesn’t want to fail, although bigger stars have at similar style events …

Luckily, there probably won’t be a billion people watching, for one they haven’t got enough chairs in the Spiegeltent, so a marginally smaller sized audience will see me fall off the stage in one of my multiple costume changes. Starts at 9.15pm. First tumble (in a gymnastic style) will be 9.17pm approx.

Then on Friday, I’m going to try and negotiate the possible travel meta-heck in our capital to fly out to Barcelona and play at the ACE Razzmatazz at daft o’clock in the morning to beautiful spanish boys with amazing hair. That doesn’t involve hosting though. That’s more about playing records and whirling. But with a Spanish flair. Well, crap GCSE Spanish, but a flair regardless…