Summer and that

Summer: DENIED

Well, the dream of endless sunny days and ice cream was again halted by the British weather being most uncharitable, but I wouldn’t have got to see much of it had it been belting out of the sky (sun, not ice cream. But imagine that…) as I have been gallivanting about working and generally not sleeping in my own bed. Not in a slaggy way I hasten to add. Chance would be a fine thing. ANYWAY, here is what I did and where I went this past couple of months since I last managed to scrawl an update:

Party for MAC make up; Devonshire Club; Rome; Flashpoint Festival; Latitude Festival (Rave Karaoke); G-A-Y; Birthday parties; djing dressed as a Disco Boxer (I appreciate this makes NO SENSE); many a wedding reception set; more birthday parties; Soho HouseEdinburgh; ONE DAY HOLIDAY IN SOUTHWOLD (go me, etc); Barbican; oh, more weddings; Birmingham to child mind (am the best aunt everrrrrr); Leeds Festival (Rave Karaoke); Edinburgh AGAIN.

It’s been fun. I have been to new cities, towns and venues and had all manner of cakes. So that kind of makes up for the ice cream / sun shortage. Besides, it were baking in Rome. One isn’t complaining mind.

In september, am here:

FRIDAY 1ST – NOTTING HILL ARTS CLUB 10-2

SATURDAY 2ND – WEDDING AT HIX

FRIDAY 8TH – RAZZMATAZZ, BARCELONA

SATURDAY 9TH – ME DAD’S BIRTHDAY. Not working obvs. He can’t afford me. (he can)

THURSDAY 14TH – BIMA AWARDS PARTY

FRIDAY 15TH – G-A-Y

SATURDAY 16TH – WEDDING IN CAMDEN

THURSDAY 21ST – SUMMER PARTY, PICTUREHOUSE CENTRAL

FRIDAY 22ND – OSEA ISLAND 

SATURDAY 23RD – PRIVATE BRUNCH, SEA CONTAINERS

THURSDAY 28TH – RAVE KARAOKE, THE CURTAIN

SATURDAY 30TH – WEDDING, CLARKENWELL

In between I shall be worrying about Rita’s current storyline in Coronation St and enjoying the new GBBO. Am so glad it’s not rubbish.

As always, Twitter is my latest-up-to-date-what-I’m-doing-and-djing-and-where. But mainly it’s just telly talk. I love telly

Ok bye

 

HELLO FROM A LAZY COW

A slattern, according to google image search

Hiya

You alright? Hope so.

I haven’t updated this site for ages because I am a dreadful slattern. That’s not the done thing in these modern times of fast paced internet media is it? Although, this website isn’t about the world, but still, bad form Anna.

ANYWAY, been doing lots of gigs and planning stuff and spending too much money on make up and sweets and not saving for a pension like what my sister does. But then she doesn’t prance about in daft get ups playing records for coin does she? No, she doesn’t.

It’s been an horrifically sad week for Manchester, my home town and for pop culture. I think it won’t stop being so awful for a very long time. It’s good to carry on and do stuff if you can and want to, but if you don’t, then that’s equally fine. Just doing massive cries are also 100% OK too.

In work terms, been playing in bars and clubs and Barcelona and Museums and private parties and weddings and hotels and that. And am doing some more of that this month here. Although, this month (May) is nearly done so you get June too. You can thank me later:

WEDDING – London, Saturday 27th May

They have a professional dance troupe and a mariachi band. Mega lolz await

BRUNCHW Hotel, Leicester Square, Sunday 28th May, 4th, 11th & 18th June

Best Brunch in town in London’s dazzling disco hotel. Come check it before it closes for the summer refurb!

RAZZMATAZZ – Barcelona, Friday 2nd June

Back in banging Barcelona for the night!

WEDDING – London, Saturday 3rd June

No details on a mariachi band AS YET

MIGHTY HOOPLA – Victoria Park, Sunday 4th June 

Playing a S/A/W ONLY set at London’s massive one day only pop parade

SWINGERS – London, Friday 9th June

NOT A SEX PLACE. Don’t worry Aunty Margaret, ’tis crazy golf. I may wear sequinned plus fours.

G-A-Y – Heaven (London, not the God place), Friday 16th June

Main room, all-killer no-filler whacking great big pop BANGERS

GLASTONBURY – William’s Green Bar, Thursday 22nd June – Sunday 26th June

Marathon djing weekend residency at the world’s biggest and most amazing festival. Come and see us and bring us an ice cream would you? Ta

PRIVATE PARTY – Chateau de Berne, Marseille, Saturday 1st July

Enchanté

 

2017 and that

Hello

Have been terribly tardy of late with the updates, sorry to anyone who is actually arsed.

Anyhoo, had a v busy December what with Christmas parties in their full swing and squeezed in a trip to Barcelona at the start of the month, as well as er, Bournemouth, but both were work not pleasure. Although, really, my work IS pleasure, especially when it’s by the seaside. Then it was actual Christmas so didn’t do nuffink work wise until NYE. But I don’t have to explain myself. You’re not the boss of me.

Before I quack on, must alert your ears and eyes to this LATEST PODCAST . This time on Anna Greenwood Likes to Talk, I talk to Zoe McNulty, a fierce fitness force, body confidence expert and all round excellent person. She is the perfect antidote to the January dieting / self hate yawn that is shoved in our face at this time of year and will make you put down the green smoothie, pick yourself up and learn how to WORK IT. She runs School of Strut which teaches women how bring some love to their chastised thighs, learn some amazing dance moves and have a right old LOL. Check her out here and listen HERE

Now to disco matters. I was kindly asked back to play the wondrous SouthBank Centre for their Vintage NYE party, which was just marvs. It was ace as ever and my dress was increds. I also managed to ruin it due to flailing limbs which are my signature dance move. WELL DONE ANNA. See before and after shots here:

   BEFORE
DURING
AFTER / DISASTER

(Mine hair etc)

Onto January larks:

W Does BrunchW Hotel – Every Sunday

Put your feet up, pop the slippers on and sink back into the sofas of the deluxe W Lounge as you are served up a Sunday sensation of food and drink with music from me! 12-4pm every Sunday, book in here 

Saturday Soiree – Soho House, Saturday 14th January

Shimmying my way up the stairs to the top of 76 Dean Street, shall be playing my decrepit vinyl and no doubt forgetting to take the covers off my needles as I am such a pro. 9pm – 1am

My Birthday – Monday 16th January

Same day as Kate Moss. Can guarantee hers will be 1000000000000x more fun than mine. I AM FINE WITH THAT.

G-A-Y – Friday 20th January

Start of my new monthly residency at London’s pop mecca. SQUEAL 11pm – 4am NON STOP BANGERS

Soho House – Thursday 26th January 

Thursday is the new Friday! Come and find out for yourselves at snazzy 76 Dean Street Soho House  10pm-1am

H&M Staff Awards Party – Friday 27th January

You can only come to this if you’re invited obvs, but you know, it’s my world ergo I shall spout about my carry on as I please.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Have a dreadful feeling there are other things I have forgotten. But this might be dreamt events masquerading as facts. This wouldn’t be the first or last time. Oh well. Shall update here / Twitter as and when I wake in the night in an anxious cold sweat about missed gigs etc

BYE

 

 

 

 

 

SEPTEMBER DISCO GO-GO

I would like some of these please

Hiya

I played at a pop up launch for Guilty Noodle at Old Street Station last night. It was fun and it was 24 degrees outside, thus naturally a heck of a lot hotter underground and combined with fake tan blocking ones pores and a heavily sequinned kimono jumpsuit, it was like working out in one of those sweat suits that people do for extreme rapid weight loss. A more glamorous looking one in theory, but in reality, just as much of a sorry soggy mess.

So, lesson is don’t wear a heavy sequinned article when whirling around playing records underground. Unless you like the sweaty look. I don’t mind it when I am dans le gym, I am just sorry everyone else had to experience it.

I did a lol-ful party last week in Picturehouse Central. THAT’S A NICE VENUE. A disco in a cinema (ok, member’s bar) is a very good thing. I would like to do more please.

This month workwise I am doing THIS:

A wedding in the Cotswolds, Saturday 10th September

Soho House, Friday 16th September

G-A-Y (S-C-R-E-A-M!!!), Friday 23rd September

Razzmatazz, Barcelona Friday 30th September

Aaaand, W Does Brunch at the best Hotel ever, W London every Sunday 12-4pm

There may be some other things popping up, so have a look at my Twitter as that’s where the latest hot disco chat can be found. Amongst outpourings from my tiny mind.

BYE

 

Hotter than July

July: SURE BABES

Although we’re only on the second day of the month as I type, many things can be hotter than this July. A cup of tea left out for a couple of hours, a faulty boiler, my freezing cold heart… God I always harp on about the weather. ‘Tis fundamental to our culture in this septic isle it seems. ANYWAY, back to the razzle dazzle disco business of which I should be quacking about as my life is non-stop exciting GLAMMA 24/7 of course.

After returning to London a weary muck-splattered sequinned soldier from my disco marathon at the muddiest Glastonbury EVER (true facts) on Monday – proving a touch more than a challenge for a person with a low tolerance for any kind of dirt – was unexpectedly smacked back to reality by hosting Old Queen’s Head always-LOLZ pop quiz, then playing records post-cabaret show at the beautiful Bloomsbury Ballroom last night. A welcome bounce back to be honest, otherwise I would have just sat on the sofa staring / got lost on Mail Online / despaired over the state of the WORLD etc. Re BB,  the show runs until the end of this month – you can find out more about it by clicking on these words.

Here be me dates this month

Sundays – all of them – W Does Brunch, W Hotel

The best way to spend Sunday, I promise. And I never lie.  A three course brunch of foodie delight awaits as you recline on sofas, pop on your complimentary slippers and spend your Sunday in a luxurious state of pampered bliss as the ever excellent W staff attend to your every dining and drinking need. They might just plump up your cushions if you ask nicely. I’m on disco duty behind the decks with a more soulful set as appropriate for a Sunday when ears can be a little delicate and in need of gentle reviving. 12-4pm, book in here

Friday 8th July – Razzmatazz, Pop Bar

Back in Barcelona so soon! Que bueno! Playing at crackers o’clock in the morning to a room of ridiculously fun people. Razz rules. As does Barcelona. CAN. NOT. WAIT. Info here!

Saturday 9th July – Private Party, Richmond

(easy) Jetting back for a private party in Richmond where all the deer live (it is a party for people not deers, to be clear). (But imagine playing at a deer’s birthday party…)

Friday 15th July – Wedding, Cotswolds

Providing the entertainment for a couple’s ding dong day in England’s glorious countryside.

Saturday 16th July – RAVE KARAOKE, Latitude Festival

Rave Karaoke makes its debut at one of the country’s BEST festivals. OI OI! Seriously, this place is MAGIC. Am in the cabaret tent at 7pm for a pre-sunset singing rave UP! Tickets / stuff here

Saturday 23rd July –  Soho House, 76 Dean St

Playing at the top of the house 9pm – 1am. I bloody love this place

Friday 29th July – RAVE KARAOKE, Kendal Calling

Back in banging Cumbria for the excellent Kendal Calling. Such a top festival in a truly breathtaking part of the world. Am in the House Party House (it is a house, promise) at 7pm to start their Friday night partying in super neon style. Tickets / info here 

Saturday 30th July – RAVE KARAOKE, Guilty Pleasures, KOKO

It’s been a while… bringing the bangers to my old stomping ground, the unstoppable Guilty Pleasures. Hosting the top bar and perhaps gracing the stage if there’s any glow sticks left… tickets / info here

 

That’s it for now. Follow me on Twitter for last minute additions / non-important information if you really really want

Hostess with the Mostess

Mostess IS a word.

Alongside djing, I do a spot of hosting. Quizzes, (Rave) Karaoke and the odd cabaret show. Am doing 2 x turns of thus this week. First up, Karaoke!

This Thursday 12th May at the marvellous 76 Dean Street Soho House, will be hosting Pop Masters Karaoke from 9.30pm for all the show offs of Soho to belt out some bangers. God, I love alliteration. I know it’s quite naff but then, I AM quite naff…

Anyhoo, it’s packed full of pop favourites for nearly-the-weekend fun. It’s free! If you’re a member. So become one quick or find someone who is and come and have a sing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hosting part two is Friday 13th May for the fantastic Alternative Eurovision at the glorious London Wonderground. I LOVE DOING THIS SHOW. It’s my fourth year as compere and it is the MOST fun. Ten top cabaret stars adopt a country from the fine singing union and represent them in their very own original song and style, for Alt Euro GLORY. It’s daft, it’s silly, it definitely contains nudity AND swearing and is the perfect warm up for the real deal on Saturday night as well as being a pretty perfect Friday night out!

GET A TICKET HERE  

DOUZE POINTS POUR MOI

And here’s a lovely piece those people at This Is Cabaret wrote about it. They speak 100% TRUTHS

OTHER NEWS

I went to Barcelona last Friday to play Razzmatazz. It was ACE. Always is. Was home before I knew it and djing up The Shard. That’s not a euphemism, one would never be so coarse. I was djing up at the very top of the Shard. It’s terrifyingly high and the toilets don’t have blinds and it’s like doing a wee in the Thames. If that doesn’t sell it to you, then nothing will.

It’s dead sunny and warm here, hope it is with you. BYE.

IIIIIIIT’S CHRIIIIIISTMAAAAAS!

Well it is in the party world. PARTY WORLD. Imagine if that were a real place. A 24/7 PARDEE. Like being in Made in Chelsea maybe.

But yes, Christmas parties are all a go-go and indeed it has been Christmas on the fourth floor of Liberty since August. I’m going to lots of these parties, but more as the turn than the guest. But no doubt they will all be glo-ooo-oooo-oooo-oooo-ooo-rious.

Here’s what I am doing on the last days of 2015:

FRIDAY DECEMBER 4TH – RAZZMATAZZ, BARCELONA

Popping up in the er, Pop Bar at crackers o’clock in the morning. It’ll be a ding dong of a disco as it always is in Catalunya’s capital’s number one club. Info! Tickets! Y mucho mas – aqui! 

SATURDAY DECEMBER 5TH – TO LONDON WITH LOVE, BLOOMSBURY BALLROOM

Christmas cabaret show with me whirling about in between and after some rather amazing acts who can do things with their bodies and voices most humans can’t. They’re kind of like superheroes in a way. Except their powers don’t extend to actual flight and / or shooting lazers out of their eyes. But maybe one day… anyway, you get an amazing dinner and show in a beautiful room – tickets and info here

SUNDAY DECEMBER 6TH, 13TH & 20TH – W DOES BRUNCH, W HOTEL

Step into the W Lounge, pop your slippers on and get set for a super deluxe Sunday where a three course brunch will be served to you by the wonderful W staff. I’ll be playing music throughout and all you have to do is sprawl around on sofas and generally slob out. In an elegantly refined way of COURSE. 12- 4pm every Sunday, book yourself in here and make the most of your weekend

TUESDAY DECEMBER 8TH – PRIVATE CHRISTMAS PARTY

(Soz)

THURSDAY DECEMBER 10TH – PRIVATE CHRISTMAS PARTY 

(Soz again)

FRIDAY 11TH DECEMBER – H&M OXFORD CIRCUS

Soundtracking the festive get-up getting from 12-4pm

PRIVATE PARTY THAT NIGHT IN A SNAZZY HOTEL

SATURDAY DECEMBER 12TH, TO LONDON WITH LOVE, BLOOMSBURY BALLROOM

See 5th December for info – or just go here

SUNDAY DECEMBER 13TH – W DOES BRUNCHW HOTEL

Here are Slade, the captains of Christmas to add some visual marvel to this list of words and words and words

MONDAY DECEMBER 14TH – CHRISTMAS CRACKERS KARAOKE, SOHO HOUSE

One-off seasonal special at the original Soho House in the last working week before Christmas. Unless you’re a nurse. Hosted by ME, there will be a selection of classic Christmas songs to sing, as well as prizes for best performance, most festive attire and most impressive embodiment of the season. Or something. To be honest I will be randomly awarding the prizes to whomever I think deserves one. A bit like Santa, but without the beard, reindeers and belly. So nothing like Santa. It’s for members only so hurry up and be one or get mates with one and come along – 7pm start.

WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 16TH – PRIVATE PARTY

It’s at One Embankment fyi.

THURSDAY DECEMBER 17TH – ANOTHER PRIVATE PARTY

Aaand, this one’s at Bloomsbury Ballroom.

FRIDAY DECEMBER 18TH – H&M OXFORD CIRCUS

Festive fever in central London, 12-4pm

SATURDAY DECEMBER 19TH – RAVE KARAOKE AT HOUSE PARTY, MANCHESTER

Bringing the rave up north and to my home town for this triple decker disco. Info and the like all over here – advance tickets are a bargain £5! STICK ONE IN YOUR STOCKING 

SUNDAY DECEMBER 20TH – W DOES BRUNCHW HOTEL

Last brunch before Christmas!

TUESDAY DECEMBER 22ND – H&M, OXFORD CIRCUS

Only three days until Christmas – COME PANIC BUY AND HAVE A DANCE 12-4pm

WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 23RD – WEDNESDAY 30TH

SITTING DOWN AND EATING

THURSDAY 31ST DECEMBER – VINTAGE NYE, SOUTHBANK CENTRE

Final hurrah of 2015 sees me take to the fantastic Southbank stage for a massive party in every room of this tremendous building. Not that I will be in EVERY room. As much as I would like to be, it’s not all about me. SIGH. Anyway, come say SEE YA to 2015 and HIYA to 2016 – tickets info and stuff here

And that’s IT. 2015 OVAH. Heck, that’s gone terribly fast hasn’t it? Ah well, best get on with new stuff for the New Year then. And maybe find some time to buy some presents before 25th…

MERRY BLOODY CHRISTMAS

Gigzzzzzzzzzzzz

Durrrr….

 

It’s been a busy old time. But then I always say that. But I only speak the truth, so there we go.

So far in August have been to the Cotswolds to play at The Royal Oak’s Oakfest after Chas and Dave (I KNOW!); did the H&M Pop Up on Brick Lane again, plus the launch party with actual popstar Foxes; and of course lovely H&M Oxford Circus a couple of times.

Been to Brighton to check out Lucky Voice for Brighton Rave Karaoke. It rained, but in my heart it RAVED. Went on holiday for TWO WHOLE DAYS in Southwold with my ace family who were there for a week. Didn’t have fish and chips or ice cream! What a seaside LOSER. Then they came to London and we did loads of stuff that mainly involved food and beer as that is what my family excel at. Everyone should always play to their strengths.

Booze: Good friend of the Greenwoods

Presented Indeedy Musical Bingo again, which is always the LOLS, but was exceptionally so with a boisterously fun Wednesday crowd. Been djing at W Does Brunch every Sunday at the glorious W London and making plans with them for future brunching delights. And making plans with Lucky Voice in Islington for our forthcoming collaboration in September. More on that to follow!

Here’s what I’m up to over the next couple of weeks or so

FRIDAY 21ST AUGUST – RAZZMATAZZ, BARCELONA

Ah Razz. My beautiful home from home. Will be playing up in the Pop Bar (of COURSE) for Pop Will Save the Dayat bonkers o’clock in the morning. It’s the best. Always the best. Never not the best. I LOVE IT AND I LOVE THEM AND I LOVE BARCELONA FORVER AND EVER AMEN.

THURSDAY 27TH AUGUST – LEEDS FESTIVAL

Rave Karaoke is kicking off the Alternative Stage to get the festival off on a ragga tip and RAVING for the weekend of music mayhem. This should be ace. It’s a massive tent. Raving. GULP. I was born in Leeds, thus I have extra excitement for this!

SATURDAY 29TH & SUNDAY 30TH AUGUST – BIG WEDDING WEEKEND, SOUTHBANK CENTRE

The finale of the Southbank Centre’s beautiful Festival of Love concludes in the best way: with a gigantic mass wedding and party at the Big Wedding Weekend! I was lucky enough to be part of it last year and double lucky to be part of it again this year as the couples’ (yes, it’s plural) reception dj. Multiple couples get married on the same day and with their friends and family and wedding crashers, celebrate their unions in a colossal disco and celebration. You can see what last year’s was like by clicking here if you want. I wore a frock like a ball of meringue that lit up. This year I have another wedding themed creation lined up to get all unglamorously hot and sweaty in on this magnificent weekend of romantic raving.

EVERY SUNDAY – W DOES BRUNCH, W LONDON HOTEL

Brunch! But brunch with oh so much more, at London’s dazzling W Hotel. A laid back disco and dining delight! Food to instagram. Slippers and sofas to stretch out on and me in a daft get up to soothe you of a Sunday.

Will be back with news (sure, sure) about September and beyond!

I love you. Bye.

 

May day(s)

Me. Just hanging out.

Look it’s bloody well May. Yet one still has the need for gloves of a morning. Tights however are BANISHED.

In more musical terms, I’m doing some stuff this month. Different stuff, all of a musical ilk though. Let’s have a look shall we?

FRIDAY 8TH MAY – RAZZMATAZZ

As the UK’s politicians have a big fight / flirt whilst cobbling together some sort of government, I’ll be whizzing to Barcelona, back to my favourite place Razzmatazz, for an early morning / late night / completely normal time set (depending on your view and whether you’re Spanish / Catalan) in the Pop Bar.

Best disco ever. I love it. They’re ace. It’s hot. In every sense. It’s also bonkers. In the best sense. Info / tickets here 

FRIDAY 15TH – PRIVATE PARTY

See you there if you’re invited / it’s your party. Soz if not

SATURDAY 16TH MAY – ALTERNATIVE EUROVISION

Third year hosting this amazement of cabaret wonder with some of London’s top performers representing a European / made up country, singing a song of their own from this adopted or otherwise heartland.  Warming up for the following weekend’s actual Eurovision, come join us in the spectacular speigeltent that is London Wonderground with this festival of song in crackers cabaret style. Info / tickets here

MONDAY 18TH MAY – TELL IT LIKE IT QUIZ

Shoreditch House‘s bargain basement quizzing fun, direct from my brain into yours via pictures, words, song and general silliness. Pop culture knowledge essential. Au fait with Daily Mail sidebar of shame? You could be our winner. Knowledge of actual historical facts, mathematics and classical literature? Not here. Not ever. Sorry. Top prizes on offer and poundshop treats galore. 7pm start for the members of said snazzy house.

THURSDAY 21ST MAY – MUSICAL BINGO

Music + Bingo = FUN. Joining two wondrous worlds together, this London phenomenon is interactive weekend-warming up like no other. I’ll be hosting the party at Drink Shop & Do from 8pm. It’s great fun AND there’s a sweet shop upstairs. What more could you ever want? Tickets / info all here

SATURDAY 23RD MAY – H&M OXFORD CIRCUS

Daytime discoing amongst the rails of this shopping mecca. In town? Come pop whilst you shop! 12-4pm sees me do my bit.

THURSDAY 28TH MAY – HOXTON HOTEL, SHOREDITCH

Djing as you drink, dine, dance or ALL from 8pm – 12am in this London hotel hang out. Always a favourite place to stay pre- Londfon livign days. My mum and dad like it too. They like the fact you get proper milk for your tea. These things matter! Anyway, make your weekend start sooner with a cocktail and a summer set!

EVERY SUNDAY – W HOTELW DOES BRUNCH

Where you’ll find me come sun, rain, snow, hail, wind, humidity that knackers your hair do (you get the point) from 12 – 4pm I reside in the glorious W Lounge for W Does Brunch. Sit back, sprawl out and stuff yourselves on a foodie feast, as the staff attend to your every need whilst I soundtrack all this delight, twirling around in the booth and nicking the pick n mix. Book in / info – all here. It’s top. You should try it. Luxe lounging lovliness.

Ok, that’s it I think. Hope to see you at one, some or ALL

Bye!

 

BUSY

Hiya. I’ve been a bit busy. Christmas was crackers and it’s all been a bit non-stop since.

Not that one is complaining, besides it’s best not to sit around watching Homes Under the Hammer with a family pack of Doritos, no matter how tempting a prospect this is.

But I have been a bit tardy on the site updates. So here’s some talk on where I’ve been and here’s where I’m going.

Edinburgh for New Year djing for a Guilty Pleasures party. It’s such a smashing city and everyone is super nice. On the way up there, fellow performers and lovely boys, Hot Gusset befriended the drinks trolley men and managed to neck about 40 mini bottles of vodka. Straight men love a gaggle of gays cooing over them, even if it is just for their liquor. They don’t need to know the truth, why spoil it? We were in First Class. We were quite excited. We’re a bit sad.

Look here’s Edinburgh (I don’t have any pictures of the party, this’ll have to do).

Then I’ve just been working in London doing Christmas parties (IN JANUARY??? etc) for Hiton Park Lane and Halcyon Gallery at Little House. I’m so Mayfair me. (I get the bus home).

W Does Brunch continues at London’s super spangly W Hotel every Sunday – come join us, it’s such a treat. I don’t play music too loudly as one’s ears can be a bit sensitive on said day  and there’s no Norwegian death metal in my playlist. Well not for now, who knows about the future. I may turn to the dark side.

Here’s a picture of what you get at Brunch. SO pretty and SO good!

 

As well as Little House, I’ve been at Shoreditch House and the the mothership, Soho House. That was good as I haven’t played there for aaages. It’s super fun on Fridays.

Went to see 12 Years a Slave and cried and have had terror dreams since. Should have gone to see American Hustle. Them wigs wouldn’t give one the terrors. Unless they started talking or dancing. That would be quite frightening, but also quite entertaining.

And today it is the Chinese New Year. Kung hey fat choy! It’s the year of the horse, my birth year incidentally, so no pressure, but DON’T LET ME DOWN. Year of the snake was a right cow. So in light of this, here’s where I’ll be the next few weeks of this new year:

Friday 31st January

Shoreditch House, in the Library where they make fancy drinks 12-3am

Saturday 1st February

H&M Oxford Circus during the day – not shopping, but djing – then playing an 18th birthday party that night. I haven’t been to an 18th since I was 18. I won’t behave like I did then though. Mainly because I am the help. It wouldn’t go down well.

Sunday 2nd February

W Does Brunch!

Wednesday 6th February

Quizzically Challenged, best / worst of 2013 at the Phoenix Cavendish.

Yeah we’re a bit late to the party, but we’re working on the Chinese calendar, rather than Gregorian. Trash, bang, wallop of a quiz of telly, celebs, adverts, films and all other hi-brow subjects. Expect HILARIOUS questions and quite rubbish prizes (and a couple of good ones if you’re lucky.) Starts 7pm

 Thursday 7th February

The Vaults, Waterloo. It’s a party for the Vaults Festival (which launched on Thursday 30th and I indeed played there too). I’m on 10.30pm – 12.30am. You can see a show beforehand and stay for a disco. There was some home made quiche and soup last night if you fancy a snack. They also had tequila with the worm in it, if you prefer tiny insect food in a lake of alcohol and horror headache.

Friday 8th February

Razzmatazz, Barcelona. Back in my favourite city in the world with the best crowd in town. So much fun. I’m in the Pop bar (natch) at 3am until the sun comes up and the man outside is selling sandwiches to the departing revellers.

Sunday 9th February

W Does Brunch! Then later that night,  Shoreditch House from 9pm.

Saturday 15th February

Silent Night, the Vaults

Can’t seem to stay away from this venue. This time it’s one of those parties where you play to a crowd wearing headphones and they listen to whichever dj they choose. Well, of which ones are playing obvs. Never done one of those discos before, imagine it’s quite amusing watching people dancing to different things. And possibly out of time to what I’m playing. Although I may be dancing out of time to that too. Or I might listen to someone else if I’m rubbish.

Sunday 16th February

W Does Brunch!

Ok that’s enough for now. Will add more dates as and when. Naturally this will be the first place updated. (It won’t be – follow me on Twitter for that. It’s mainly nonsense but occasionally I self-promote. I don’t RT praise though. Ick)

Bye!

Dates and updates (and balls)

Amongst the sunshine and general aceness of August (well done the weather) I did the following:

Djed at two weddings, played rooftop parties at Shoreditch House, cooked my parents a 40th wedding anniversary tea, Brunched x 4 at W Does Brunch, had train journeys that lasted five times more than they ever needed to, played a Bowling lane (didn’t bowl, just djed, I have issues with the shared shoes), moved flat, sampled several types of wedding cake (lemon was best), played at Razzmatazz in Barcelona, ate a lot of food in Barcelona, didn’t want to come home from Barcelona and finished with Guilty Pleasures at KOKO.

Whilst in Barcelona walking the glorious streets, I noticed the Sagrada Familia has got new balls on its turrets. Ok, not technically balls, but that just sounds funnier. Well, I think so. Anyway, look, BALLS:

So now it is September and what in the hell is happening? Apart from Great British Bake Off and reeling from a somewhat farcical end to the transfer window for United, here are a few things I’ll be doing:

QUIZ

Quizzically Challenged – The Phoenix – Wednesday 4th September – 7pm

Trash quiz, max lolzz, crap prizes, honest hosts. With Neil Prince as glamorous co-host. Info here

BIRTHDAY PARTY

Not mine. A private one. At Concrete, Thursday 5th. You can only go if invited. Thems the rules.

FRIDAY NIGHT DISCO

At the Social, Friday 13th (eeek!) from 8pm. Pop, Rock, Disco, Hip Hop, RNB, FUN for your Friday night.

You can rsvp to the Facebook event. Or not. It’s your call.

BRUNCH

W Does Brunch every Sunday from 12pm at London’s super spangly W Hotel in Leicester Square. Sofas, slippers, lounging, amazing food, bottomless Bloody Mary’s, sweets and treats, TV room and soothing Sunday sounds for battered brains from me.

Book in here

MINI BREAK

Going to Dorset with my family. They’re going for a week, I’m doing three days. That’s this year’s holiday. Poor me, a boo hoo etc. Better than nothing, and we’re going here for posh lunch.

PRIVATE PARTY

In Tunbridge Wells. Is it Royal Tunbridge Wells or just regular civilian? Google says ROYAL. Woo, swanky.

I’m djing after some pop stars. By no means am I pretending to not be excited about this.

SHOREDITCH HOUSE

More roof party fun, this time on Thursday 26th September. PLEASE DON’T RAIN.

WEDDING

It’s in a barn. It’s my first barn gig ever. Double the fun.

GUILTY PLEASURES

Pop bedazzlement at glorious KOKO in Camden. Tickets, info, pictures, prices and MORE here 

Things I have been doing / about to do / not mentioned

So it seems I am one of those people who has a blog that they neglect to update. I didn’t think it would be this way, but it is. Besides, I’ve never been a “blogger” type. I am not very social media minded. I don’t photograph my dinners and put it on twitter or tag myself in Facebook things because frankly, WHO CARES?

But, one has to self publicise to some degree in this game and therefore here are some things that I have been doing and am about to do.

Rave Karaoke

Did this at the Bugged Out Weekender. I wore a white boiler suit and an Alternat8 mask, the latter of which I made myself. (Really it was just a dust mask + marker pen’d “A”, but saying making it myself sounds much more impressive non?) The big hitters were Haddaway’s “What is Love” and Artful Dodger’s “Re-rewind (The Crowd Say Bo Selecta)”. Hopefully the Rave Karaoke will re-emerge in a slightly better boiler suit this time later in the year. Naturally my up-to-the-minute blog will be the first point of call for this news…

http://youtu.be/VVmbhYKDKfU

Haddaway – Big in Bognor

In other Karaoke chat, this month’s Karaoke Tuesdays at Concrete on 26th takes its lead from it being the month of love,  theme is DUMPED. For all those that have been, about to be or think love can do one frankly, come wail your blackened / broken heart away below Pizza East next week. See how / when / where here

Cathartic wailing welcome – DUMPED at Concrete.

I will be making or rather playing sweet, sweet music of the loving kind this Friday 15th at Friday Night Disco at the Social , with some pop pumpers and rnb belters to make the weekend start in a way that makes you fall even more in love with your other half or if single, makes you fall in love full stop. Not sure what with, but one likes to remain optimistic and open minded that love can occur wherever and has no boundaries. As long as it’s tasteful mind.

I have new neighbours both above and below me. They both like to have their telly’s at gran-like volume levels. I can hear their telly over mine and I am a tinitus-riddled dj so their ears must be super knacked.

Jetting off to warmer climbs this Saturday 16th, playing the super amazing and most excellent Razzmatazz in Barcelona on Saturday night. Or rather Sunday morning what with Spain being crackers and that. My set starts at 3am (I know!) ending as the sun rises over the med. It really is one of the best clubs ever. Everyone is ace in there and is so much fun. The next day I will force myself out of bed and max out my hours in Catalunya eating as much crema catalana as I can manage before flying back to a cold and greying London.

That’s Barcelona. It’s alright isn’t it?

Been playing the Soho House group of members clubs of late and so far this year have scored a hattrick playing the latter, Shoreditch and Little House. Quite fancy Miami next please. Or Berlin. Really I’m not fussy. They’re loads of fun. You may have gathered that I like fun. I do.

The new Justin Timberlake single is good. Not Suit and Tie. That was the opposite of good. This one, Mirrors. It’s good. The only troublesome matter that needs addressing is how much JT looks like Olly Murs.

      

Or is it the other way round? Either way this wasn’t meant to happen! Stop ruining JT for me Olly!

GO AWAY.

NOW.

Think that’s enough quacking for a bit.

Bye