HELLO FROM A LAZY COW

A slattern, according to google image search

Hiya

You alright? Hope so.

I haven’t updated this site for ages because I am a dreadful slattern. That’s not the done thing in these modern times of fast paced internet media is it? Although, this website isn’t about the world, but still, bad form Anna.

ANYWAY, been doing lots of gigs and planning stuff and spending too much money on make up and sweets and not saving for a pension like what my sister does. But then she doesn’t prance about in daft get ups playing records for coin does she? No, she doesn’t.

It’s been an horrifically sad week for Manchester, my home town and for pop culture. I think it won’t stop being so awful for a very long time. It’s good to carry on and do stuff if you can and want to, but if you don’t, then that’s equally fine. Just doing massive cries are also 100% OK too.

In work terms, been playing in bars and clubs and Barcelona and Museums and private parties and weddings and hotels and that. And am doing some more of that this month here. Although, this month (May) is nearly done so you get June too. You can thank me later:

WEDDING – London, Saturday 27th May

They have a professional dance troupe and a mariachi band. Mega lolz await

BRUNCHW Hotel, Leicester Square, Sunday 28th May, 4th, 11th & 18th June

Best Brunch in town in London’s dazzling disco hotel. Come check it before it closes for the summer refurb!

RAZZMATAZZ – Barcelona, Friday 2nd June

Back in banging Barcelona for the night!

WEDDING – London, Saturday 3rd June

No details on a mariachi band AS YET

MIGHTY HOOPLA – Victoria Park, Sunday 4th June 

Playing a S/A/W ONLY set at London’s massive one day only pop parade

SWINGERS – London, Friday 9th June

NOT A SEX PLACE. Don’t worry Aunty Margaret, ’tis crazy golf. I may wear sequinned plus fours.

G-A-Y – Heaven (London, not the God place), Friday 16th June

Main room, all-killer no-filler whacking great big pop BANGERS

GLASTONBURY – William’s Green Bar, Thursday 22nd June – Sunday 26th June

Marathon djing weekend residency at the world’s biggest and most amazing festival. Come and see us and bring us an ice cream would you? Ta

PRIVATE PARTY – Chateau de Berne, Marseille, Saturday 1st July

Enchanté

 

Hostess with the Mostess

Mostess IS a word.

Alongside djing, I do a spot of hosting. Quizzes, (Rave) Karaoke and the odd cabaret show. Am doing 2 x turns of thus this week. First up, Karaoke!

This Thursday 12th May at the marvellous 76 Dean Street Soho House, will be hosting Pop Masters Karaoke from 9.30pm for all the show offs of Soho to belt out some bangers. God, I love alliteration. I know it’s quite naff but then, I AM quite naff…

Anyhoo, it’s packed full of pop favourites for nearly-the-weekend fun. It’s free! If you’re a member. So become one quick or find someone who is and come and have a sing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hosting part two is Friday 13th May for the fantastic Alternative Eurovision at the glorious London Wonderground. I LOVE DOING THIS SHOW. It’s my fourth year as compere and it is the MOST fun. Ten top cabaret stars adopt a country from the fine singing union and represent them in their very own original song and style, for Alt Euro GLORY. It’s daft, it’s silly, it definitely contains nudity AND swearing and is the perfect warm up for the real deal on Saturday night as well as being a pretty perfect Friday night out!

GET A TICKET HERE  

DOUZE POINTS POUR MOI

And here’s a lovely piece those people at This Is Cabaret wrote about it. They speak 100% TRUTHS

OTHER NEWS

I went to Barcelona last Friday to play Razzmatazz. It was ACE. Always is. Was home before I knew it and djing up The Shard. That’s not a euphemism, one would never be so coarse. I was djing up at the very top of the Shard. It’s terrifyingly high and the toilets don’t have blinds and it’s like doing a wee in the Thames. If that doesn’t sell it to you, then nothing will.

It’s dead sunny and warm here, hope it is with you. BYE.

September girl

Am referencing The Bangles with this post, what with it being September and me being a girl. Bit obscure praps, but it’s my site so I can do what I fancy. SUCH FREEDOM. That’s the Bangles up there in case it isn’t obvious yet. Click on the pic and you can hear the track.

What I didn’t know was that the song is spelt September GURLS, even though I had the tape as a yoof. Also it sounds a bit like Moonlight Shadow doesn’t it?

ANYWAY, summer’s done one – well in honesty, it did one in late July – so here is a new month and indeed season. Here’s what I’ll be doing in a professional sense. Haha, professional!

THURSDAY 10TH – H&M STUDIO LAUNCH – REGENT ST STORE, 9AM-1PM

LOVELY new collection, of which us djs playing at the launch have been gifted some us. It’s not a bad life.

AOL SUMMER PARTY – FABRIC

Later that day / night am playing at the above. It’s for the company only, but thought I’d let you know.

FRIDAY 11TH – H&M STUDIO LAUNCH – OXFORD ST STORE, 1-5PM

Continuing the launch at the Oxford St store. Maybe I’ll wear some different clobber from the collection. Or ALL of the pieces.

SATURDAY 12TH – H&M POP UP – BRICK LANE, 2-6PM

H&M AGAIN! This time East side for the last few weeks of its pop ups. They have free coffee, lollies and cocktails for shoppers AS WELL as clothes. That’s good isn’t it? Oh and ME playing some records to soundtrack the afternoon to.

SUNDAY 13TH, 20TH & 27TH – W DOES BRUNCH – W HOTEL, 12-4PM

Lovely lovely brunch, lovely lovely W, sofas, slippers, amazing food and drinks, super staff, tv room, loadsa mirrorballs and me playing records in a fancy frock. INFO / BOOKING AND THAT HERE 

TUESDAY 15TH – CARRY ON KARAOKE – LUCKY VOICE, ISLINGTON, 8-11PM

NEW! NEW! NEW! Brand new monthly night of themed karaoke cavorting and carousing!  Every month the theme will change and thus the track list will cut its cloth accordingly from the ginormous catalogue of Lucky Voice songs. For the first party on September 15th, we’ll be stepping back to the 70s and into our sequins for a night of DISCO. Hosted by ME. MORE INFO AND BOOKING HERE! 

THURSDAY 17TH – RAVE KARAOKE – LUCKY VOICE BRIGHTON, 8-11PM

Taking the party to the seaside. After the MASSIVE Leeds Festival gig (it was AMAZING), can’t wait to get them raving on the Sussex coast! TICKETS / INFO HERE 

SATURDAY 19TH – WEDDING

Only go if you’re invited. Could be embarrassing if not. Unless you bring a nice gift. Anyway, I’m djing.

FRIDAY 25TH – H&M OXFORD CIRCUS, 12-4PM

Shop disco!

SATURDAY 26TH – AS YET UNTITLED PARTY – BOUNCE, HOLBORN, 9.30PM-1AM

New party at the brill Bounce, a ping pong bar. My mate Zoe is amazing at ping pong. Like Monica in Friends. But not as violently competitive. Anyway, this is a new weekly party. It hasn’t got a name yet. But it will have. It’s from the people who brought you Buttoned Down Disco. I’m going to be one of the residents. I am toying with a frock made of ping pong balls. It might distract from the fact I am hopeless at ping pong. But then I’ll be playing records so I probably best concentrate on that really.

MONDAY 28TH – TELL IT LIKE IT QUIZ – SHOREDITCH HOUSE, 7PM

My trash culture quiz returns after its summer haitus. Will be testing the brains of the SDH members from the hi brow worlds of music, tv, film and more via the sidebar of shame, Heat and Take a Break mag.

 

Think that’s it work wise. Other than that I’ll be living la vida loca. Am not quite at Ricky Martin’s level, but it’s good to have something to aim for.

BYE

Gigzzzzzzzzzzzz

Durrrr….

 

It’s been a busy old time. But then I always say that. But I only speak the truth, so there we go.

So far in August have been to the Cotswolds to play at The Royal Oak’s Oakfest after Chas and Dave (I KNOW!); did the H&M Pop Up on Brick Lane again, plus the launch party with actual popstar Foxes; and of course lovely H&M Oxford Circus a couple of times.

Been to Brighton to check out Lucky Voice for Brighton Rave Karaoke. It rained, but in my heart it RAVED. Went on holiday for TWO WHOLE DAYS in Southwold with my ace family who were there for a week. Didn’t have fish and chips or ice cream! What a seaside LOSER. Then they came to London and we did loads of stuff that mainly involved food and beer as that is what my family excel at. Everyone should always play to their strengths.

Booze: Good friend of the Greenwoods

Presented Indeedy Musical Bingo again, which is always the LOLS, but was exceptionally so with a boisterously fun Wednesday crowd. Been djing at W Does Brunch every Sunday at the glorious W London and making plans with them for future brunching delights. And making plans with Lucky Voice in Islington for our forthcoming collaboration in September. More on that to follow!

Here’s what I’m up to over the next couple of weeks or so

FRIDAY 21ST AUGUST – RAZZMATAZZ, BARCELONA

Ah Razz. My beautiful home from home. Will be playing up in the Pop Bar (of COURSE) for Pop Will Save the Dayat bonkers o’clock in the morning. It’s the best. Always the best. Never not the best. I LOVE IT AND I LOVE THEM AND I LOVE BARCELONA FORVER AND EVER AMEN.

THURSDAY 27TH AUGUST – LEEDS FESTIVAL

Rave Karaoke is kicking off the Alternative Stage to get the festival off on a ragga tip and RAVING for the weekend of music mayhem. This should be ace. It’s a massive tent. Raving. GULP. I was born in Leeds, thus I have extra excitement for this!

SATURDAY 29TH & SUNDAY 30TH AUGUST – BIG WEDDING WEEKEND, SOUTHBANK CENTRE

The finale of the Southbank Centre’s beautiful Festival of Love concludes in the best way: with a gigantic mass wedding and party at the Big Wedding Weekend! I was lucky enough to be part of it last year and double lucky to be part of it again this year as the couples’ (yes, it’s plural) reception dj. Multiple couples get married on the same day and with their friends and family and wedding crashers, celebrate their unions in a colossal disco and celebration. You can see what last year’s was like by clicking here if you want. I wore a frock like a ball of meringue that lit up. This year I have another wedding themed creation lined up to get all unglamorously hot and sweaty in on this magnificent weekend of romantic raving.

EVERY SUNDAY – W DOES BRUNCH, W LONDON HOTEL

Brunch! But brunch with oh so much more, at London’s dazzling W Hotel. A laid back disco and dining delight! Food to instagram. Slippers and sofas to stretch out on and me in a daft get up to soothe you of a Sunday.

Will be back with news (sure, sure) about September and beyond!

I love you. Bye.

 

Glasto – YO!

Glastonbury: I’m going here. It’s effing huge

So I’m going to Glastonbury. Not as a punter. As a dj. I am djing at Glastonbury.

SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have never ever been before in my life ever so am somewhat excited. Am there the full stretch, playing Thursday – Sunday in a variety of get ups and a suitcase full of records to suit all weathers, people and tastes. Although I’d quite like everyone to be like me, like what I do, for the sun to shine solidly and absolutely NO MUD. I don’t favour the mud. Or any dirt. Or dust. Or just general uncleanliness.

Suffice to say, am not staying on site. I like electricity and bricks and showers indoors too much. Also, I don’t own a tent and have no desire to change this. My sister loves the camping, but then she has a camper van, which elevates the outdoor sleeping factor a little although it’s just one up from sleeping in your car tbh. Like naughty husbands or a drunk perhaps.

Maybe I need to get more in touch with nature and not worry about my hair and lack of plugs sockets for straighteners or sleeping on the hard ground. Or maybe everyone else can do that bit and I’ll continue to do my bit as a whirly-gig dj at freaking GLASTONBURY!! SCREAM! AGAIN!!!!

I’m playing on William’s Green in the massive Green Bar tent, so if you’re in the area anytime betwixt 3pm – 12am I’ll be there disco dancing in spangly wellies, playing marvellous music for larking in super Somerset.

SCREAM FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME!!!

See you in the fields!

Bodies and brains

Hiya

I’ve got two new things happening next week. One for the brain and one for the body, hence the subject of this here post. Look:

Tuesday 11th November – Tell it Like It Quiz!

Yes a quiz! Another one! Except this one’s my very own and will be making its debut at Shoreditch House on Tuesday 11th November to see the members battle each other in a trash pop culture quiz that will see no mensa sorts running away with the crown. That’s because the questions will range from the bottom of the bargain bin to the top of the pops and one doesn’t need to have an exceptional IQ to know these answers. (Mainly cos I haven’t got one and it was me wot wrote it)

Rounds will be from the worlds of music, fashion, silver and small screen, celebrity goings on and other hi brow subjects of a similar ilk. It kicks off at 7pm, maximum six to a team and there are amazing prizes up for grabs (as well as some poundshop treats to add that discount glamma).

So come along and prove your brains in the quest to find the quizzing champions!

Friday 14th November – Dessert Island Disco

I am VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS. Here’s some scrawl I prepared earlier about it so you can get excited too (hopefully):

Beneath the Shoreditch streets on Friday 14th November, lies a destination of dreams for those who prefer the sweeter side of life.

Descending the staircase of Casa Negra into the Playroom, for one night only you will be transported to Dessert Island Disco! It’s where cake and music unite on the dance floor for one heck of a tasty treat of a night out!

This recipe for a riotous night out comes courtesy of DJ Anna Greenwood, Miss Cakehead and London Mess Chef, Jim Thomlinson, who will be providing music, show stopping sweets, a hint of madness and unadulterated pure pleasure for hedonists and hungry amongst us!

A calorie neutral night out awaits as you dance away the sugary sensations on the dance floor to a soundtrack of Friday night disco pop bangers.

Expect apple pie scented shots, candy cotton bubbles, many a disco donut and a wallop of dance floor action, to give you Friday night fun unlike any other.

So pack your bags, strap on them dancing shoes, wear your stretchiest pants and get ready for a super sugar rush on your mini break of mayhem!

FRIDAY 14TH NOVEMBER 2014

THE PLAYROOM – CASA NEGRA

54-56 Great Eastern St,

London, EC2A 3QR

9pm – 2am

£5

FACEBOOK EVENT 

Doesn’t that sound like a lot of fun? Especially if you can’t get enough of that sugar rush, musically or culinary.

Hope to see you at either or both!

Tra

 

Mixing it up

Oh hiya.

Haven’t been here for a while, soz. Been working and staring at myself in the mirror.

Here’s a new mix. It’s a mini mix. A little mix. But not Little Mix. Although, I do have a deep affection for Little Mix.

There’s no Little Mix on here though. Apologies if you were expecting that. One hates to disappoint.

It’s a demi-rave if you will. One that you can do at home.

Here’s a picture of Little Mix to make up for things

Tra

LISTEN TO THE MIX HERE

 

FRIDAY NIGHT CHRISTMAS DISCO

It’s next Friday 13th (eek) at The Social. It won’t be unlucky, it’ll be tinsel-tastic and baubly brilliant.

Apologies for the shocking puns, I am no good at this so why I am even trying I don’t know.

It’s on until 3am too. That’s the magic of Christmas and licensing laws

 

Birthday disco

Hello / Happy New Year / Happy Birthday / Hi

Been eating large amounts of fat in all its glorious forms hence silence upon this here dazzling website.

Back at the Social next week. My Birthday week too, so it’s only polite you attend frankly or consider yourself OFF the Christmas card list. Yes, big talk for 2013.

Starts at 7pm. It’s good fun. I won’t be doing big talk then. Big dancing probs more likely.

 

Politics of Pop – Radio Special

America goes to the polls next week to vote for their President for the next four years. You probably know this already, what with it being on the telly / radio / front pages of papers and that all the time, but because of this I made a radio show for London Fields Radio about how the pop world will be voting.

Or how I think it will be from the hours of research I have put in, pouring over documents late night in libraries not unlike a scene from a serious film about a lawyer or detective who does important things. Not at all like reading daft news stories on line and googling celebrities. None of that. Was all libraries at a leather topped desk with one of them green table lamps. Promise.

It’ll probably have a crucial effect on the swing vote states due to the revelations revealed about how KISS will vote or if Cameron Diaz likes Romney’s hair etc. It’s insightful, critical and crucial comment. Kind of like Newsnight, The Today programme and  the Chart Show in one. (But mainly the Chart Show).

Listen here to the show

 

 

THE HORROR

It’s Hallowe’en next week. Instead of going round Hackney dressed up as a disco witch trying to get sweets from terrified old ladies and hipsters who have only just got up at 7.30pm of an evening, I’ll be getting my glad rags on a week before for monster pop type goings on.

Thursday 25th I’ll be at the Old Vic Tunnels for the Zombie Horror Camp which sounds like a lovely getaway if you’re a fan of the walking dead. It’s not a real holiday camp of course, oh actually maybe it is and I’m the stupid one. Imagine. As far as I’m aware it’s not and I’ll be playing the zombie disco with Sean Rowley as other ghoulish goings on such as voodoo doll making, a grotesque strip club and lots of people covered in fake blood roll around shrieking happen around us. And a zombie run.

Zombies (ok, pretend ones) running at you. This terrifies me greatly. I may cry. Pretend or otherwise, zombies are a scary thing and I will scream. Maybe I am to play the part of the screaming girl in the horror film by way of adding to the theatricality of the party and I just didn’t realise until now. It wouldn’t require much acting, je suis un wimp.

It starts at 7pm. You can buy tickets here

Zombies waiting for the shop to open. They like shops it seems.

Saturday 27th the horror continues at Guilty Pleasures for the annual Hallowe’en disco which sees Camden High Street turn into an even bigger fright fest than it usually does in the daytime, as an army of vampires, witches, warlocks, ghosts, massive bastards etc descend upon KOKO for a whacking great big pop rave. It’s always a HUGE party and the security usually end up confiscating an arsenal of plastic weapons that could probably maim someone if you spent a good 40 minutes sawing at someone’s leg. But who has 40 minutes in their day to amputate someone? Modern life is so busy.

Anyway, last tickets for this are here but there’s not that many of them so I’d get one if I were you. And if you wanted to come of course. Otherwise just carry on. Have a takeaway, watch X Factor. Although all the acts are a bit boring this year so maybe you should get a ticket after all.

But still have the takeaway.