HELLO FROM A LAZY COW

A slattern, according to google image search

Hiya

You alright? Hope so.

I haven’t updated this site for ages because I am a dreadful slattern. That’s not the done thing in these modern times of fast paced internet media is it? Although, this website isn’t about the world, but still, bad form Anna.

ANYWAY, been doing lots of gigs and planning stuff and spending too much money on make up and sweets and not saving for a pension like what my sister does. But then she doesn’t prance about in daft get ups playing records for coin does she? No, she doesn’t.

It’s been an horrifically sad week for Manchester, my home town and for pop culture. I think it won’t stop being so awful for a very long time. It’s good to carry on and do stuff if you can and want to, but if you don’t, then that’s equally fine. Just doing massive cries are also 100% OK too.

In work terms, been playing in bars and clubs and Barcelona and Museums and private parties and weddings and hotels and that. And am doing some more of that this month here. Although, this month (May) is nearly done so you get June too. You can thank me later:

WEDDING – London, Saturday 27th May

They have a professional dance troupe and a mariachi band. Mega lolz await

BRUNCHW Hotel, Leicester Square, Sunday 28th May, 4th, 11th & 18th June

Best Brunch in town in London’s dazzling disco hotel. Come check it before it closes for the summer refurb!

RAZZMATAZZ – Barcelona, Friday 2nd June

Back in banging Barcelona for the night!

WEDDING – London, Saturday 3rd June

No details on a mariachi band AS YET

MIGHTY HOOPLA – Victoria Park, Sunday 4th June 

Playing a S/A/W ONLY set at London’s massive one day only pop parade

SWINGERS – London, Friday 9th June

NOT A SEX PLACE. Don’t worry Aunty Margaret, ’tis crazy golf. I may wear sequinned plus fours.

G-A-Y – Heaven (London, not the God place), Friday 16th June

Main room, all-killer no-filler whacking great big pop BANGERS

GLASTONBURY – William’s Green Bar, Thursday 22nd June – Sunday 26th June

Marathon djing weekend residency at the world’s biggest and most amazing festival. Come and see us and bring us an ice cream would you? Ta

PRIVATE PARTY – Chateau de Berne, Marseille, Saturday 1st July

Enchanté

 

SEPTEMBER DISCO GO-GO

I would like some of these please

Hiya

I played at a pop up launch for Guilty Noodle at Old Street Station last night. It was fun and it was 24 degrees outside, thus naturally a heck of a lot hotter underground and combined with fake tan blocking ones pores and a heavily sequinned kimono jumpsuit, it was like working out in one of those sweat suits that people do for extreme rapid weight loss. A more glamorous looking one in theory, but in reality, just as much of a sorry soggy mess.

So, lesson is don’t wear a heavy sequinned article when whirling around playing records underground. Unless you like the sweaty look. I don’t mind it when I am dans le gym, I am just sorry everyone else had to experience it.

I did a lol-ful party last week in Picturehouse Central. THAT’S A NICE VENUE. A disco in a cinema (ok, member’s bar) is a very good thing. I would like to do more please.

This month workwise I am doing THIS:

A wedding in the Cotswolds, Saturday 10th September

Soho House, Friday 16th September

G-A-Y (S-C-R-E-A-M!!!), Friday 23rd September

Razzmatazz, Barcelona Friday 30th September

Aaaand, W Does Brunch at the best Hotel ever, W London every Sunday 12-4pm

There may be some other things popping up, so have a look at my Twitter as that’s where the latest hot disco chat can be found. Amongst outpourings from my tiny mind.

BYE

 

September girl

Am referencing The Bangles with this post, what with it being September and me being a girl. Bit obscure praps, but it’s my site so I can do what I fancy. SUCH FREEDOM. That’s the Bangles up there in case it isn’t obvious yet. Click on the pic and you can hear the track.

What I didn’t know was that the song is spelt September GURLS, even though I had the tape as a yoof. Also it sounds a bit like Moonlight Shadow doesn’t it?

ANYWAY, summer’s done one – well in honesty, it did one in late July – so here is a new month and indeed season. Here’s what I’ll be doing in a professional sense. Haha, professional!

THURSDAY 10TH – H&M STUDIO LAUNCH – REGENT ST STORE, 9AM-1PM

LOVELY new collection, of which us djs playing at the launch have been gifted some us. It’s not a bad life.

AOL SUMMER PARTY – FABRIC

Later that day / night am playing at the above. It’s for the company only, but thought I’d let you know.

FRIDAY 11TH – H&M STUDIO LAUNCH – OXFORD ST STORE, 1-5PM

Continuing the launch at the Oxford St store. Maybe I’ll wear some different clobber from the collection. Or ALL of the pieces.

SATURDAY 12TH – H&M POP UP – BRICK LANE, 2-6PM

H&M AGAIN! This time East side for the last few weeks of its pop ups. They have free coffee, lollies and cocktails for shoppers AS WELL as clothes. That’s good isn’t it? Oh and ME playing some records to soundtrack the afternoon to.

SUNDAY 13TH, 20TH & 27TH – W DOES BRUNCH – W HOTEL, 12-4PM

Lovely lovely brunch, lovely lovely W, sofas, slippers, amazing food and drinks, super staff, tv room, loadsa mirrorballs and me playing records in a fancy frock. INFO / BOOKING AND THAT HERE 

TUESDAY 15TH – CARRY ON KARAOKE – LUCKY VOICE, ISLINGTON, 8-11PM

NEW! NEW! NEW! Brand new monthly night of themed karaoke cavorting and carousing!  Every month the theme will change and thus the track list will cut its cloth accordingly from the ginormous catalogue of Lucky Voice songs. For the first party on September 15th, we’ll be stepping back to the 70s and into our sequins for a night of DISCO. Hosted by ME. MORE INFO AND BOOKING HERE! 

THURSDAY 17TH – RAVE KARAOKE – LUCKY VOICE BRIGHTON, 8-11PM

Taking the party to the seaside. After the MASSIVE Leeds Festival gig (it was AMAZING), can’t wait to get them raving on the Sussex coast! TICKETS / INFO HERE 

SATURDAY 19TH – WEDDING

Only go if you’re invited. Could be embarrassing if not. Unless you bring a nice gift. Anyway, I’m djing.

FRIDAY 25TH – H&M OXFORD CIRCUS, 12-4PM

Shop disco!

SATURDAY 26TH – AS YET UNTITLED PARTY – BOUNCE, HOLBORN, 9.30PM-1AM

New party at the brill Bounce, a ping pong bar. My mate Zoe is amazing at ping pong. Like Monica in Friends. But not as violently competitive. Anyway, this is a new weekly party. It hasn’t got a name yet. But it will have. It’s from the people who brought you Buttoned Down Disco. I’m going to be one of the residents. I am toying with a frock made of ping pong balls. It might distract from the fact I am hopeless at ping pong. But then I’ll be playing records so I probably best concentrate on that really.

MONDAY 28TH – TELL IT LIKE IT QUIZ – SHOREDITCH HOUSE, 7PM

My trash culture quiz returns after its summer haitus. Will be testing the brains of the SDH members from the hi brow worlds of music, tv, film and more via the sidebar of shame, Heat and Take a Break mag.

 

Think that’s it work wise. Other than that I’ll be living la vida loca. Am not quite at Ricky Martin’s level, but it’s good to have something to aim for.

BYE

Ding Dong

I love a wedding me. Favourite gigs usually as everyone is so happy and tipsy, wearing nice clothes and eating cake. They really are quite marvellous things. I really should have one myself one day.

But until hell freezes over and someone wants to take me on, I shall be content to be the turn at said big days. And none is bigger than the Southbank Centre’s Big Wedding Weekend. As part of their Festival of Love, it’s a two day celebration where couples of all sexes, ages, creeds and colours can get married or renew their vows in a unique wedding en masse on the Royal Festival Hall stage and then celebrate with their guests at the wedding breakfast followed by entertainment and a reception. It’s amazing! Six ceremonies over the weekend of 20 couples each time making history and magical moments together. Read more here 

It’s like the moonies, minus the cult factor but with a massive WOW factor instead. It’s such a brilliant thing, I want to marry it.

And who is the dj for the reception..?

ME.

Me. Me. Me. ME.

Suffice to say I am quite excited about this. A special frock is in creation as I type. It may be the only time I can get close to a wedding dress so I’m going for it. My mother will be pleased.

The reception is also open to all so if you want to come and pretend you’re married and dance like a loon at the disco, you can! It’s going to be a glorious weekend. Can’t WAIT.

 

 

 

May Day

Well technically May Day itself hath been and gone. But every day in May is a May Day so the topic still stands.

Here’s what I’m doing / have done these days in May:

Last week I played at the top of a very high building, Millbank Tower to be precise. It has splendid views, look

Bit of London from up high

On Saturday, I played in a castle for a wedding for a Princess. Ok, she wasn’t a real Princess, but it was a real castle. Peckforton Castle in Cheshire. They have an owl sanctuary. Not keen on owls. They’re sinister. Even the baby ones. How can you be comfortable around something / someone that does’t blink I ask you?

Regardless of the swivel-headed starers, it was ACE. Love weddings, especially ones where people are up for dancing immediately. Which these ones were. Then I clambered back on to the train to the capital the next day for W Does Brunch, which is still serving you up a delightful dining experience complete with slippers every Sunday in the spangly W Hotel. Book yourself in here.

This Friday 9th May, it’s the annual Alternative Eurovision at LondonWonderground, a beautiful spiegeltent that’sll be spending the summer on the Southbank. The show will have superstars of the Cabaret scene representing a country from this united / confused unity and singing their own song their bloody best for them. I’ll be hosting the show and the acts trying to get your vote will be:

Bourgeois & Maurice, Ida Barr, Lili La Scala, Dusty Limits, Roulston & Young, Benjamin Louche, Femmes on the Thames, Tom Moans, Tempest Rose, Des O’ Connor (NOT THAT ONE), Flange Krammer & Sophie Hagen.

BOOK HERE. It’s brilliant. It’s nothing like the show on the telly on Saturday, but then what is? We don’t have the budget for all them wind machines and interpretive dancers with meaningful expressions. It’s bizarro Euro. Which isn’t that bizarre and perhaps on reflection, is actually just like the show, but with more colourful language and possible nudity.

It’s also the opening gala night for London Wonderground itself, so you know, no biggie…

Inside the spiegeltent. Minus chairs, stage and humans.

Otherwise am at these places playing records and larking about. In a professional entertaining matter of course:

17th – 50th Party (probably didn’t need to tell you that as you can’t come unless invited)

23rd – Shoreditch House – on the roof!

24th & 25th – Weddings!

31st –Shoreditch House – pon de roof

 

I hope our paths cross upon the dancefloor

Tra

 

Flaming June

Here’s where I am this month in case you want to come and look / listen / dance and that.

Wednesday 5th June – Quizzically Challenged – The Phoenix

A quiz. For people with simple minds or who may like Simple Minds. I can take or leave them to be honest, but the quiz is hosted by myself and Neil Prince and it’s hugely lo-brow in terms of questions but hugely hilarious thanks to our gifted brainzzz.

Starts at 7pm. Book yourself in here

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Friday 7th June

Double disco – H&M Oxford Circus, 12pm – 4pm amongst the leggings, then Shoreditch House 10pm – 3am.

Every Sunday – Brunch! At W Does Brunch in the super spangly W Hotel in Leicester Square. Relax, unwind and feast in slippers on sofas whilst I dj throughout your dining delights. The Welsh Rarebit is the highlight of my week. It’s ridiculously delicious. I think about it at least four times an hour. You may think this is tragic, but that clearly means you haven’t had it. Because you would do the same.

Read about it here (Brunch, not the rarebit). Call 0207 758 1060 to book in.

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Friday Night Disco – The Social – Friday 14th June

My monthly disco at London’s home of hedonism, The Social. Come whirl your way into the weekend.

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Saturday 15th June – DocFest – Sheffield

Making the annual jaunt to the Pennines for the brilliant DocFest weekend of documentary delegates going nut nut on the dancefloor.

Read about Doc Fest here. Only if you like. You should though. It’s ace.

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Saturday 22nd June 

Wedding! LOVE A WEDDING ME. Last week I did one in Surrey and there were TWO flavours of wedding cake. I had four pieces. A solid 8/10.

Oh you can’t come to the wedding unless your’re invited soz.

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Saturday 29th June

Another wedding!  And Guilty Pleasures at KOKO.

Again, same rules apply re wedding in terms of going, but good news, you’re always invited to Guilty Pleasures. Book a ticket and read about the party here.

It’s my sister’s birthday in that week too. Same day as George Michael. They’re not very alike though, well as far as I can tell. She’s ok driving, but not very good at singing and being a megastar. However she’s never been given the chance so who knows.

Ok bye

 

 

 

 

On air and on the train

On Saturday I’m doing another Dinner Disco, my radio show about food and dancing about one’s kitchen, LIVE (eek!) at Land of Kings Festival in Dalston.

Live radio. It’s what it’s all about, man. I actually haven’t done any since I co-presented the Guilty Pleasures show on BBC London with Sean Rowley. All that used to go through my head when I did that show was DON’T SWEAR OR SAY ANYTHING RUDE PLEASE ANNA. Sometimes I failed. I said Barbara Windsor was bald which may or may not be true, but was a bit mean. At least I didn’t say she was f***ing bald, that would have been worse. Anyway, am going to get all my swear words out the day before by cursing relentlessly for 24 hours. That way I will be clean of mouth come broadcast o’clock.

Babs: NOT bad

Rather than having a recipe to soundtrack (which is the usual format for the show) I’ve got guests including Claire Roberson of pop up dining sensation (yes, sensation) Shacklewell Nights who’s done some amazing hidden dining events in London and performance artist Best Cleo who is performing her show Diet Coke is illegal in the Philipines at the festival. The show isn’t really about the legal outgoings of the low calorie soft drink, but it does involve ballet, bingo and a meal where Cleo has made the plates and spoons herself. Bet you didn’t see that coming did you? We’ll be talking about how all these things work within her show and how her brain manages to come up with such impressive ideas. And how she made the spoons of course.

Claire isn’t doing anything in the festival. We’re just going to talk dinners. I like dinners. So does Claire so that’s good.

Good dinner

It’s broadcast on Hackney’s finest London Fields Radio which you can listen to again and again should you feel the need. You’re just not able to yet because I haven’t done it. But come Monday, you can! Or you can come and listen to it LIVE on Saturday and see me try and not swear – details here  I’m on 6- 7pm and there are other super excellent London Fields Radio djs doing their shows too from 5 – 11pm. Have a look and see who’s on

On Sunday I’m djing at a wedding in Cornwall where the taxi firms consist of one man and his car and the train journey is about five hours from London. But I LOVE a wedding and the bride has specifically requested some 90s dance pop bangers and a RAVE hour (yes!) also Cornwall isn’t half bad with its sea and beaches and pasties and rogue looking fishermen, plus in my mind I am djing on top of a cliff in front of the sea so as long as it doesn’t rain and I don’t fall off, it should be rather splendid fun.

Dinners, disco, trains and taxis. And therein ends my Bank Holiday weekend travails.

Another good dinner