I’m not really a “blogger” so no idea why I have a blog. I have no great designs on being one. I’m not one for selfies either. I’m quite rubbish at self-promotion despite being able to talk about myself fairly easily and at great length. So really I’d like to change this page to NEWS, but I don’t have the appropriate skills to do this and my friend who designed the site keeps forgetting to change it. Yes, it’s such hardship.

ANYWAY, been doing some gigs and things, amongst them a couple of weddings, a birthday party, a FRIEZE event at Shoreditch House, W Does Brunch, a big charity do and I cleaned the fridge his morning. It looks great. Sure this is good news for everyone.

Over the next few weeks am quiz mastering (misstressing? That sounds a bit racy) tonight (21st October) at The Old Queen’s Head and tomorrow (22nd October) at the Cat and Mutton.

H&M on 25th October, 1st & 6th November, the latter being for the Alexander Wang launch, which is very exciting and will see the store turned upside down in a frenzied fury of legging warfare. I’ll be in the sanctuary of the dj booth playing records and dancing about and trying to nab some gear myself.

WANG OFF. Prepare to scrap!

Miss Cakehead, London Mess Chef & I are joining forces for the first ever Dessert Island Disco. Where cake meets pop on the dancefloor, basically a calorie neutral night out full of musical and moorish sensations. A cake pop. A donut disco. Will write something official about this at a later date (SURE) but it’s at the Playroom at Casa Negra on Friday 14th November. I’m massively looking forward to it. We’ve got some top plans.

A not-at-all-accurate temporary representation of a cake disco

Hallowe’en am at the High Priestess Ball at the Camden Centre. I’m not very good at Hallowe’en. Although I do like a horror film, I’m just not good at the whole dressing up bit. Which is strange considering I have a secondary wardrobe of dress up. But they’re all sparkly and bright and not doomy and dealthly as is the Hallowe’en style. Also am partial to mahoganising myself with fake tan which goes against he whole dead look. Unless they have St Tropez in hell. Who knows. Guess some of us will find out.

Grotbags: Her hands don’t match her face skin tone a la me & fake tan.

Other than this I massively love telly at the moment. The Apprentice is still good in its 10th year I don’t care what the HATAS say, Corrie excellent (natch, although am missing Deirdre), Strictly, X Factor… my tastes are culturally rich. On balance I listen to Radio 4, read the paper, go to galleries. So maybe my tastes ARE in fact culturally diverse. Who knew.

That’s all for now. Bye.